Way Outside The Box

Theory #39 - Theory of Birthdays

2011-09-11T14:00:00.005+04:00

What's the big deal? We live in a world that's creeping up to a population of 7 billion earthlings. that means on average you have almost 20 million people celebrating their birthday on your day. What makes you so special to have a big party and call it MY DAY.

Well... I'll tell you..

why did people start celebrating birthdays? How the hell should I know? that was a LONG time ago and probably impossible to trace back to its origins, but let's go with some ideas that i DON'T think were the initial reasons..

"oh yeah.. you were born today.. let's have an excuse to party and spend money!"
or..
"you're getting older and closer to dying, let's distract you with some CAKE"
or..
"why WOULDN'T everyone think the day I was created the most important day EVER, yes dammit take some time out and celebrate ME"

well.. in truth I'd like to think that the idea of celebrating your birthday came from a better place.. and that's from the place of self-appreciation.
ok so you share this day with about 20 million people worldwide, but I think the general agreement was that once a year, celebrate YOU. Buy yourself a gift, something you've wanted but kept holding off buying. Enjoy a day in the style that I like to call "get out of jail free". Basically do whatever you want, take on every dare, talk to that cutie you've been eyeing, go streaking, eat that second serving of cheesecake.... and when you get in trouble simply say "but it's my birthday!"

I don't think birthdays were created so everyone else could see how special you are.
I think birthdays were created so you could give YOURSELF a break once a year and enjoy the awesomeness that is you. An excuse for yourself to BE selfish, pamper yourself.. why not? it's just one day in the year. and knowing you you're probably working yourself to the bone, stressed, depressed, or exhausting yourself with family, friends, children, work obligations and basically hating the fact that you need at least 6 hours of sleep and wished you could survive off 3 cause there are just not enough hours in the day. Or the people that are depressed all the time cause their lives didn't come out exactly the way they wanted it and just live their lives in a trance of BLAH.

Maybe back in the day, someone wise said... "we're gonna be a reckless species. We're gonna hurt each others' feeling and we're not even gonna take care of ourselves that well. So maybe what we need to remind everyone is that it's ok every once in a while to make everything about YOU."

Don't be one of those people who doesn't celebrate their own birthday. Buy that thing you want, be around people who make you smile, and above all else ALWAYS have cake on your birthday and make a wish before you blow the candle. WHY NOT??

Cause everyone knows that the most important person who needs to know you're special IS you.

Theory #38 - Theory of Makeup

2011-09-11T13:18:00.001+04:00

The bulk of this theory is about makeup, but some bits and pieces of it will involve other things that "make up" a woman's appearance.

(pause for absorption of the pun)

Moving along....

My theory is that makeup is a woman's warpaint.
Now when i say warpaint (which i completely acknowledge that there might be a better word for it) what I really mean is warpaint, armor, weapons, etc...

A quick search on wikipedia to give you the definition of Warpaint says that someone's already stated that it can be referred to as makeup that women wear in the battle of the sexes.
So clearly I'm writing this theory KNOWING it's not relatively a new concept, but I thought it was worth elaborating on and talking about anyways.

If you're going to a friendly get together then you don't need to put on as much make up, you can just be dressed casually. That's just like if you have weapons. You don't need to be heavily armed if you're going to an ally's place or if you're just visiting some acquaintance because if you go and you're heavily armed you probably don't feel comfortable or trust completely the person you're going to see. No really close friend goes to each other's houses completely dressed donning their sexiest dress and makeup that took 30 minutes to put on up unless they're counting on seeing other people there that they need to be on guard for or that they dont' completely trust. Not that they feel completely untrusting but they DO feel some kind of "not being able to be themselves around you." Like they can't be theirselves and that they have to be cautious and on guard.

The different types of makeup she wears is for different situations. It could be used as a weapon, to disarm a man, or charm basically anyone you need something from. That's IF you know how to use the makeup right. Cause everyone knows that sometimes too much makeup is just WRONG.

Now although there are many ways to put on makeup, I have spoken here about 4 main types:

The Non-existent makeup: Some girls just don't wear a lot of makeup, if any. And if a girl doesn't know how to use makeup properly or dress well for that matter, she might be at a disadvantage. Makeup can be like armor. If a girl is not pretty and doesn't know how to present her face in the most attractive manner, there's a big chance life is gonna be cruel and harsh on her (unless her inner beauty is SOOO sparkling that THAT weapon is stronger than the need for visual weapons) Boys respond to pretty faces. They can say they're into personalities, but the majority of people REQUIRE something at least pleasing to look at before they even give the personality a chance. Also, a girl who doesn't take care of her appearance in our society is VERY harshly judged upon. Not just by men, but by other women as well. Unless they're one of the fortunate ones where the randomness of life kinda shows mercy on them, then they have no need for such warpaint and they're one of the fortunate ones who didn't need any armor or protection from the harshness of life.

The sneaky Makeup: Some girls are so naturally beautiful, that they don't need much makeup. But sometimes, even the pretty girls, know that JUST a little touch here and there makes a big difference. They say the best makeup is the one you can't tell a girl is wearing. This is sorta like a sneaky weapon in my opinion. Almost as if in war time you had the talent of invisibility or meshing in with other people so you can get what you want. It's more a spy thing, and in the right situations, a POWERFUL disarming weapon simply because it's so sneaky.

The Fierce Makeup: If you're the kind that wears fierce makeup, you could look like you're literally going to war. You'll even notice that it looks like a mask. Especially in the arab world, when women wear it for example at weddings, their makeup is REALLy harsh. If they were just home wearing a bathrobe and all that makeup it'll look like a clown face. But when they're decked up with their hair done and everything it suits it. IT's just like african or new zealand warriors or just any culture where people have warpaint on before the battle. It LOOKS fierce and is used to intimidate their opponents into submission.

The Personality Makeup: There is a fun kind of makeup that isn't really fierce, but rather random. It's the calm makeup, but bright red lipstick. Or the natural look but with blue mascara, the yellow eyeliner, the bright purple eye shadow.
Let me make this very clear.. I don't mean ARAB MAKEUP. For all those in the arab world who know what I'm talking about. <--- that makeup is when they take the random, and use it everywhere at once, eyes, lips, cheeks, glitter glitter glitter!, several eyeshadows, and completely different lipliner than lipstick..... and now i'm ready to go to my day job. NO.. this is not the personality makeup.
What I mean here is the girl who's got so much inside her that those are just those days that a burst of her personality is required to show on her face somewhere. It's those days that the urge for her colorfulness on the inside is just dying to burst through. It could be part of an ensemble, or to complete a "look" she's trying to give, but in the end, there'll be a burst of color somewhere on her face and boys I can almost guarantee you, that that girl on that day, is in a playful mood.

Make up in general is a mask that we wear. But it isn't always a mask to HIDE, sometime it's a mask to SHOW. If we're feeling innocent that day (so.. light make up with a cute outfit), if we're feeling goth and dark (black and red makeup to match or chokers and spikey bracelets), if we're feeling angry, if we're happy, or if we're feeling sexy, or if we just wanna play dressup and create a look (chinese, preppy, *cough*slutty*cough*, etc...)... makeup is very expressive and helps us display those feelings, whether those are our TRUE feelings or if we're trying to disarm someone ;)

I don't wanna make this theory too long, but feel free to write back and comment on this post with other Makeup styles you've noticed and enjoy the masquerade!

Theory #37 - Theory of "Love" vs. "In Love"

2009-12-14T12:12:00.002+04:00

As everyone grows older they're all looking for someone to complete them. Someone they can spend the rest of their life with.
The most popular two ideas of "who to marry" has always fallen in my advice under two headings. You can either be lucky and be with the person you're in love with. Or you be with a someone who's your best friend.
The older generation are rather adamant about the concept of you being with someone who's your best friend, not necessarily in love with. I on the other hand am more of the "i gotta be crazy in love with the guy for it work" type. Lately though I've started to realize that maybe neither is truly the answer. My theory is that maybe what everyone needs is a combination of both.
I know you're probably thinking "DUH!" right about now, and if that's the case then you skip this theory, I just think it deserves some time spent thinking about it.

I think being in love is amazing. It's fun, it's invigorating, and most of all it's consuming. It consumes your thoughts, your minds, your time... everything. There's something so seductive about being consumed, that we ache for it.
If you were to imagine being in love as two people staring continuously at one another, you'd maybe get a clearer picture. They stare at each other and wrap themselves in this little bubble and are oblivious to the world spinning around them. As much as this is fun, everyone knows that this can also be dangerous. If you're too busy looking at your partner you're not gonna see where or who you're stepping on. You're also not gonna know what to do when the staring is over. It's very well known that love usually and eventually diminishes and fades, but I think that's just the case with THIS type of love. when you're IN LOVE with someone. eventually, you're really gonna want to look away from that face.

Antoine De Saint-Exupery, best known for writing "The Little Prince" writes "Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction".
I love this quote for the purpose that it explains and demonstrates a lot of what i see friendship as. I LOVE many of my friends, and in the end, those are the people i want as companions for the rest of my life. It's great to be in love and get lost in someone's eyes, neckline, and just melt in their hands, but you can't do that every day for the rest of your life. you want the people you can sit next to, and look outward together. I'm taking the quote quite literally for a moment... if you think about it, you want the one that you can sit in the cinema in the dark and whisper comments making fun about the movie. you want the ones that you can lie down next to in a park and watch the clouds together, you want the one you can sit next to for hours watching tv and actually enjoy your time together. It's SUPPOSED to be the one you can enjoy long drives together. you don't have to look at one another. Every second of every day does not have to be about each other.
It's about looking around at life together. Being able to see eye to eye on things without actually LOOKING at one another's eye (squint for cheesiness)

at the same time though, we all deserve to be in love with the person who's sharing this life with you. So as i said earlier. It's gotta be a combination of both. You can be two people staring at one another, getting in lost in one another, but you also need to make sure that this person you're staring it can also sit by you while you look out into the world at the same direction. Have coinciding goals and objectives in life, who sees life as you do. (this is the rather non-literal explanation of the quote, which is probably it's correct meaning)

Finding your soulmate doesn't mean that you're journey has ended and your life now will cease to exist cause you're reached the finish line. Finding your soul mate means you're no longer doing your life on your own anymore :)

Theory #36 - Theory of Unsatisfied Girls

2009-10-08T00:23:00.001+04:00

I've realized recently that the majority of girls will never be satisfied with what a guy has to offer no matter what he shows of his personality. I had hopes to write this theory as a unisex theory, but unfortunately i don't know if it's the same thing for the opposite sex. Maybe a guy can fill me in on whether it's true or not.

This is the theory/realization i've come to: If a guy wants to get a girl all he has to do is be upfront about his behavior no matter how shady it may be, ESPECIALLY if it's shady.

Unfortunately girls are the kinds of creatures that are never satisfied with anything. I'm speaking ofcourse as for the majority of the female species. If a guy appears to be a good guy (whether he really is a good guy or he's just acting like one) a girl will most likely dig and dig for what's going on in the back. Thinking things like "there's no way he's a good guy, there must be something wrong". Even if the girl doesn't actually DIG.. when he performs one act of misdemeanor, she'll just feel as if she saw it coming.

On the other hand.. if a man is upfront about all his indiscretions and negative behaviors, the girl will STILL dig. it's like a sickness. but this time she won't dig for the shady stuff, she'll start digging for the "good guy". thinking things like "oh he acts like an ass, but i know under that he's a really good guy". It's like a girl always expects a guy to NOT be true about his nature or character to them. It's like some lie that's been drilled into our minds for centuries that guys never show their true colors to girls, which is a fact that nobody has bothered to find out if it's real or try to disprove after all this time or even correct. So the girls always think the opposite! it's weird but cool in some ways because it's so predictable of women.

my advice for guys.. be upfront about every bad thing about you. for some reason, girls wanna always feel like they've figured you out and they found the secret. and it's usually the OPPOSITE of whatever it is you appear on the outside.

I don't know if this one really counts as a theory, maybe i just feel like pointing this fact out to the women of the world so they can stop being such dumbasses. Sorry girls.... it's for your own good! I'm sure all of you have at least one or two female friends who you see this behavior in.

Happy hunting boys and girls!

Theory #35 - Theory of Commitment "Issues"

2009-05-20T13:36:00.000+04:00

We've all heard it.
Guys and girls alike. We all know someone who clearly has commitment issues. But is that a necessarily a bad thing? I'm talking about commitment in many different things and especially in the person that you're dating or married to.

If you have a problem committing to a person, then you're not with the right person. You might not even realize it, but you're body is chemically rejecting the concept. At least that's what I think.

Most people would attribute having a commitment problems to psychological reasons, and although that may be the case, I don't think it's your brain that's the PROBLEM. I don't think your brain is wired wrong or anything. I think you're just protecting yourself.
The only reason you'd be freaking out about whatever position you're in at the moment is because you're imagining a better life without that person. If THAT'S the case, then you're definitely with the wrong person!
When you're with the right person, there IS no better situation than what you're in. You can't even imagine what life would be like without that person.

When you start thinking things like "this is the last person I'll ever be with in my life" or "i'll never kiss another person ever again".."I'll never have a first date again".. if you start getting knots in your stomach, or feel like there's a big stone sitting on your chest, then you have commitment issues.
Science tells us that our subconcious is constantly collecting information in the background of our brains that we don't necessarily pay attention to and we might not even remember, but our brain has it stored in there nonetheless. Could it be from the collective of that information, your brain is trying to send out a message to you but can't seem to put it words? Instead just puts it in a series of emotions.

It's healthy I believe to take risks every once in a while. To jump in with both feet and fall in love and try to commit, but if you're brain is sending a red light, you should atleast acknowledge that it's there. So SHOULD you fall flat on your face, you don't sit there and wonder why that happened. Take educated risks. Say "ok.. something tells me that this might not be a good idea, but it's worth it to give it a try".. sure.. why not. I'm into snowboarding, skydiving... doing extreme activities appeals to me. I don't mind breaking my heart, thankfully god made it capable of healing.

This applies to commitment to other things as well. Commitments to friends, jobs.. etc... If it's not fitting you just right, then maybe it's the wrong fit. Don't get coaxed into this illusion of normalcy that people try to throw on you. Do what your body is telling you to do.

But if you're the type that can't get back up after falling down, and people are telling you to get over your commitment issues, then you should maybe reconsider what step you're gonna do next. Although I believe we've all been created strong enough to withstand just about anything.

As stupid as this sounds... there is an exception to this theory. Kinda like me disproving my own theory, but oh well... Sometimes, we haven't lived enough to experience life. In this case, we have "fears". Having fears is NOT the same as commitment issues although it is usually mistaken for the same thing. Fears of the unknown and the body resorts to "flight" mode. In this case it's NOT always a good idea to follow that emotion, because after you experience this new something, whatever it is.. you might realize you were silly for fearing it to begin with. Sometimes you need to stay.
Distinguishing the two possibilities, whether it's fear from the unknown or just commitment issues can only be done by sharing your thoughts with other people. Letting other people help you find WHICH is it. Maybe people who have more life experience and can help you through it all.

Theory #34 - Theory of Crying at Emotional Extremes

2009-03-01T12:19:00.001+04:00

I think god made a trigger in our bodies that whenever we reach an extreme of an emotion, the tears come out flowing.
I don't think that means that EVERYTIME someone cries that means they reached their extreme. some people can trigger it prematurely. But i think everyone has different extremes. Or as we like to call it when it comes to pain, "thresholds". If you're not the type to cry so often, when you DO, that means you've reached an extreme. I don't think crying is just for sadness. i think we just associate it with sadness cause unfortunately people reach their extreme sadness much more often than they do the other emotions.

The ones I've observed are Happiness, Sadness, Anger, Pleasure, Fear, Love. That's what i've got so far. I've noticed that all humans when they reach the upper limit of these emotions, the tears come out. Which is why some people cry more than others, not cause they love someone more or they're angrier than the other, it's just cause their upper limit is lower than other people, so their bound to cry sooner.
I think god made the tears come out at the limit to let us know "watch it, you're breaking your limit and your body can't take it" I think it's really some kind of exhaustion of the body. it's EXTREME.
Just wish we'd reach the other emotion extreme more often. Not just sadness.

Does this make sense?

Theory #33 - Theory of the Allure of Smokin' Women.

2009-02-10T17:34:00.005+04:00

What is it about a woman with a cigarette that drives men wild?

Long gone are the days in movies when only the "bad girls" are the ones seen holding a cigarette. Although cigarettes are still used in movies to depict characters as having flaws and therefore "normal". This is a conversation about movies for a WHOLE other time.

But it IS true, even in arabic cinema you could always spot the bad girls from the ones that are smoking. Usually the "bad girls" are also the girls that aren't virgins, they're labeled and seen as "experienced", so that in turn makes a much larger appeal to men. So indirectly in movies you could say that a girl smoking a cig is a bad girl and in turn, not a virgin, therefore there's a CHANCE you might get lucky. But my theory here goes beyond that.
I think when a woman holds a cigarette JUST right, and I don't mean just in the movies, I mean in real life too.. that men find that attractive. And I think I know why.

Theory of the Allure of Smokin' Women

Everyone knows no matter how hard we try, we want what we can't have. Again this isn't 100% ALL cases, but this is especially true for when people are just starting to get to know each other. Unfortunately it's human nature and I've seen this in so many of my friends and my own experiences, that the minute a partner gives us TOO much attention we become less attracted to them. But should they ignore us and make us feel that we're not that important, that we're dispensable, we start chasing after them as if you finally realized that THEY'RE the one for you. It's the same vice versa. Give a partner you're whole undivided attention and love and they start to wander, but play the goddamn "hard to get" game and it's like REAL magic. All lessons from EVERY woman from different walks in life say "You have to play hard to get" I try to fight that rule but it seems that it's immortalized for a reason. Men LIKE to chase. they are hunters. it's a primal urge.

So what does a woman with a cig offer a hunter?
A challenge.

When a woman is fatal, a character so seductive she could drive a man insane, they refer to her as a femme fatale. This name becoming famous from the Film Noir genre back in the old days. You know the story, a woman meets an average joe, makes him fall in love with her, and then makes him think it was HIS idea to kill her bad bad husband. and then somehow she fucks him over or he ends up killing her? Yup, the Femme Fatale. these women, the most notorious of all women, are usually depicted with a cigarette firmly attached to their hands. WHY?

Is it the smoke that comes out of it? making a very seductive lazy atmosphere around the woman that does it? Could be.
Is it because it draws attention to her lips,.... could be too.
It may even be that old idea of "if she smokes, she's experienced and she KNOWS things ;) "

But what i really think it is, is because that the woman is not giving the man her full attention...... because she's busy smoking.
Think about it. The guy is sitting there, looking at her, and the women has this air about her where she's sorta listening to him, but what she's doing FIRST is smoking a cigarette, THEN she's listening to him.
She's not having a cigarette while listening to the man try to seduce her.
She's listening to the man try to seduce her while she's having a cigarette.

LOTS of people phrase it that way in their everyday lives. Guys AND girls.
"come and stand with me outside while i have a cigarette"
"Yeah you have time to order coffee while i have this cigarette"

It's the ultimate competition because a man can't WIN this challenge. If the female in question was diverting her attention to another man, one of the men in play here would win her attention in the end. But with a cigarette, which as smokers know are smoked for pleasure, the man can't compete. As he looks at this woman who he's trying to win her affection, she's busy having her own pleasure session wrapped in nicotine.

It is IMPOSSIBLE to give someone 100% of your attention if you're smoking. Maybe 95%, maybe even 99%.. but never 100%. Whenever she's smoking her cig, she's concentrating and enjoying something other than YOU.
So if he's talking to her, and she takes a drag of her cigarette and puffs it out, somewhere in her mind, even if it's just a little voice is saying "yeah.... that feels goooood". The man is practically watching the woman pleasure herself. It sounds dirty, but i think underneath it all it's just a matter of where the attention is going. The girl is doing her thing, enjoying her cigarette, you, the man are just there to entertain her between puffs.
In the end, she's playing hard to get.

I've heard lots of men tell me that they actually don't think a girl smoking is attractive at all. I think those exceptions are for 1 of 3 reasons. 1. the guy himself is not a smoker. 2. Social practices has affected his POV on these matters and made him somewhat sexist. 3. She looks cheap or trashy when she smokes.

I like to think that the most common one is 3. Simply because when I ask a guy why he doesn't like girls smoking, he says a girl looks trashy, cheap. Here it's to say that the cigarette makes her look cheap or trashy. What I think is that if the girl handles the little white object a little differently, then the guy would think differently too. She obviously doesn't know how to smoke it JUST right. She's smoking it cause she needs to. cause she needs the nicotine. Smoke it like you ENJOY it (don't be perverted!!!!), and you'll look completely different. I'm not telling girls that now you need to simulate an orgasm with every puff. Don't be retarded.
Some girls can do this naturally, they make the pleasure of smoking a cigerette equal if not more to flirting with a potential mate.

If you're not a smoker, don't start.
You'll taste better.

Theory #32 - Theory of Different Worlds, Universes & Galaxies

2008-08-24T01:07:00.001+04:00

I think every person on this earth is as exciting and diverse as all the different universes and worlds that there are.

people are spending hundreds of millions of dollars exploring everything that's out there. Every corner of the earth is being discovered, from the deepest deepest point in the ocean to the highest peak on land and even beyond to outer space. We're studying about every single species that there are and you know what? it IS interesting. you have a constant number of people enjoying documentaries and watching them over and over to observe whether it's the life of a whale, penguins, or a forest. and i'm telling you .. people are FASCINATED by it. Discovering how there are worlds within our world just keeps everyone entertained.

i don't deny this fact, and i don't hate it either.. us as humans are curious by nature. But there's another world that's more interesting in my opinion at the moment... there are other universes to be discovered. and that's in PEOPLE.

you've heard the saying that everyone is unique. and i think it's true. i think everyone is so unique, and everyone has so many twists and turns in their personality that i'd rather just sit with someone and talk to them honestly about their life than watch a documentary about a rainforest in brazil.
people are... great.. and surprising, and everyone is different. they might seem alike but if you take the time, take those millions of dollars that are spent and exchange them into pure effort of asking someone about themselves, i think you'd see that they're all different and special in their own way.

now before you break out the violins and cheese to tease me... just take a step back and think about it. everyone who's reading this right now thinks that they're special. none of them like to think that there is an equal to them out there, someone as fun, or quirky, or smart or creative... not in that special mix the way they're made. i'm not saying you're all vain! but isn't the definition of a healthy person, someone who likes themself?

why is the heart the hardest thing to give away? cause it strikes the most essential fear that we have, that the person we're giving it to, might not like our universe. but not think we're so wonderful and awesome.
aren't those the people who are closest to us? close friends and families? the ones that see us whole and even with whatever flaws we have they still think we're spectacular?

I want you to really take this metaphor seriously now. Other worlds and galaxies, what are they to us right now? aren't they stars?
aren't they ALL beautiful? true most of them are huge heaps of exploding gas, but overall, they're breathtaking aren't they? Have you ever looks in a text book about stars? they're so beautiful and mysterious and breathtaking.

if you have a friend, or a girlfriend, or a boyfriend, father, mother, brother or sister or any other kind of person in your life... take the time to talk to them every once in a while about fuckall. just about something going through their mind, or ask them a hypothetical question about whatever. Everyday i meet someone new, and every day i am at awe with a person's capabilities and little surprises and thing that make them up to be the person that they are.

I dunno how this all sounds to you guys.. i just want you to all know that you guys are all amazing in my eyes.

i don't care if you guys think i'm corny. lol but if you liked the theory, you don't have to admit it to anyone.. but atleast try to apply it to your life. take the time to really get to know someone.

Random #6

2008-04-24T11:01:00.002+04:00

People are the unhappiest when they forget that there ARE people out there that like and love them JUST the way they are.

Theory #31 - Theory of Dating in Bahrain

2008-04-13T11:08:00.001+04:00

I wanted to say "the whole arab world" or atleast "the gulf", but since i'm not exactly sure how things are in those countries i'll stick to Bahrain.

Dating in bahrain is hardly ever something between two people. It's a threesome.

Always always always.... if done in TRUE bahraini style, a threesome.

you, your partner, and your phone. that's my theory.

I swear.. the people in China didn't have it that wrong when they created the Virtual Girlfriend on the phone
http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/09/15/sp.phone.romance/index.html

I mean.. if you REALLY think about it and analyze a relationship in Bahrain. There's a lot of sms'ing.
a lot of calling.

You're constantly looking at your phone. waiting for a call, waiting for a message, it's your phone that you stay up with long hours at night chatting with. It's your phone that you always make sure you have and that you smile at when writing a loving sms.
honestly, even when your partner CALLS.. it's the phone that gets your reaction. whether it's a pleasing reaction of smiling towards it, or frowning and getting upset cause someone hasn't called you.
So how much PHYSICALLY do they see each other really? the bahraini couple? when he drives by and sees her standing with her friends? once a week maybe in an outing?

And now with video conferencing on the phone, wow... i'm telling you.. there's absolutely NO reason for guys and girls to actually MEET. there's gonna be so much going on with the phones they won't need to physically meet each other unless they're going to have sex. and you know what? i bet the virginity level in bahrain will go UP! cause then they don't gotta actually see the guy anymore. True there might be an increase in home-made sex movies that are sent over the phone... but the girl might still be "literally" in-tact!
it's getting a bit more evolved into using the internet as well. but now that we have internet on the PHONE.. it goes back to us using the phone even more to stay in contact with our partners.

this is what a bahraini couple should do.. when they start getting serious.. they should buy each other new mobile phones. it's like picking the third partner in a relationship for one another. which phones won't burn the ears after using it for a while, which phone doesn't have tiny buttons so that a girl can sms fast with her nails, which phone company has the best coverage and reception. or has roaming so that they keep in contact when they travel. which one looks good to carry around (for girls)..... i mean... if you think about it. most couples look at their phones and converse with it MORE than they do they're actual partners in bahrain.

am i wrong?

Theory #30 - Theory of Cake and Friendships

2008-01-27T11:03:00.000+04:00

I think the best way to understand this is to imagine that each friendship you have is a kind of cake.
Each person you know is a cake of some sort.

cakes are made up of different ingredients just like people. taken on their own, the ingredients might be bland or distasteful... like flour, raw eggs, baking powder, cream cheese, even cocoa powder.
other ingredients might be great alone, like sugar or milk or water.

but that's the same with personalities.. if you could assign each ingredient in a cake to a characteristic of a person, you'd see that we are ALL cakes. you're free to assign what you like.. like..salt, bitterness, sweetness, family values, self worth (self raising flour :P).. etc..
one ingredient like sugar or chocolate could control the overall taste of a cake.. but that doesn't mean we don't need the other ingredients to make the overall person that we love. get it?
i mean.. yeah, sometimes there are characteristics in people that we just don't LIKE. things about them that we hate or that are distasteful, but if we take that ingredient on it's own we'll never enjoy the whole package.

There are also different types of cakes. Not everyone has to like ALL the cakes in existence, just like you don't have to get along with everyone in the world. everyone has different likes.
Tiramisu for example has ONE ingredient that some people may find distasteful, the bitterness of coffee that's in it.
others may love that cake for JUST that reason.

it's the same with all cakes! some people like carrot cakes, others like fruit cakes.
some people love a chocolate cake... but others think it's too heavy and chocolaty for their tastes. Some people don't like chocolate cakes at all (i know! crazy right?!)
Some people are sooooo sweet cause they have WAY too much sugar in them.. some people like eating that kind of cake.
some like good 'ol pound cake.. others find it too bland, they might not dislike it per say, but maybe they're looking for something a little more exciting in their lives. Maybe something with nuts in it.

some cakes we can eat every day and never get tired of.. just like our everyday friends. Other cakes, are only yummy to eat sometimes.. and too much of it makes you ill.
Just like some friends are better in small doses.

There's cakes that are rich in flavor, and others that aren't.

you HAVE to learn to take people as entire cakes, and not nit pick about an ingredient or two that you don't like. nobody likes raw eggs for example, or flour.
but if you find the taste of that one ingredient is too much, like coffee, then maybe that just isn't the cake for you.
and that's ok!! there's nothing wrong with that. don't get angry if you're a certain kind of cake and no one likes you.. everyone has different tastes!
and if you don't like a certain cake that doesn't make you a bad person, it just means you're human! relax!!

Cakes are just like books too.. you can't always judge them by their cover. some might have beautiful frosting but taste like shit on the inside. they could have all these beautiful flowers and shapes and on the inside they're bland and taste like normal bland cake. others are without decoration but seem to be the yummiest thing you've ever eaten (decoration A.K.A. your looks and how well you take care of yourself)

But if you know what you like, then good for you. don't go on wondering why a chocolate fudge cake doesn't taste like a black forest cake. Everyone is different.

Do you know what kind of cake you are? :)

Theory #29 - Theory of Procrastination

2008-01-14T14:56:00.000+04:00

To procrastinate, by definition means "delay or postpone action; put off doing something"

I like to look at it in another way. i think there's a second half to that definition. Yes, it IS a delay of doing something. but it's also the solution the problem it causes.

let's say you're procrastinating doing something. let's call it A.

and you put it off and put it off... but then when there's something new you're supposed to do, let's call that B, you procrastinate doing that too.

in the event of procrastinating B.. you'll do A as an excuse to yourself saying "i should really get this done" just so you can put off doing B :)

we all do this. haven't you ever had something do, and then all of a sudden remembered all these other little errands should do first? "oh i should clean up my room" "i've been meaning to organize my music on the compuer" "i've been meaning to upload pics from my camera" ALL so we can avoid whatever pressing matter we are supposed to be doing at the moment.

so procrastination in my view isn't all that bad. It's just god's way of giving us the energy and boost that we need to all the other previous things that we've procrastinated as well :)

and if you're wondering, yes.. this e-mail is a result of procrastinating doing something else :)

Random #5

2008-01-09T11:36:00.000+04:00

I wish i could sleep in the nighttime sky. The stars would wrap around me like a blanket and the moon would be my soft marshmellowy pillow.

Theory #28 - Theory of How to get Stronger

2007-12-02T14:26:00.000+04:00

They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

really?
really??

I mean, who is it that decided to compare our mind and hearts to something like the immune system of the body? just because they're all in our body doesn't mean they all have to work the same.

and who wants to be compared to an immune system anyways? i mean, docs, correct me if i'm wrong here... but supposedly the immune system tackles any harm, protects us (like from a virus) and then in the future we can't be infected by that same flu or virus again. something like that.. yes?
does.. that make us stronger? umm.. no.. just means we can't get the same harms AGAIN... harms that not necessarily we might encounter anyways in the future. docs am i wrong? help me out here.. i might be mistaken somewhere here.

even if we're not being compared to the immune system. I don't think that that phrase "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is so true.
There are a lot of catchy phrases out there that we can choose to use as well. like "the straw that broke the camel's back"
why didn't the camel just get stronger instead of breaking its back? i mean.. the first straw didn't kill him, neither did the second or third or fourth.. but the last one did. so.. i'm confused.

no no.. I think it's a very weird mix of both.
What if some people.. are just different?
Yes, i do somewhat believe that people will GET stronger when others are hard on them, but not if the pounding on them is so frequent and consistent.
I mean, that camel should have unloaded that straw before getting the next one on.

If people have time to heal or if they choose to sheild themselves.. then yes.. they become wiser and more experienced and therefore will probably not get AS hurt in the future, but doesn't mean they'll never be hurt again.

but then what if you're not having that time to heal?
not all scars heal.. SOME we have to live with forever.
what if you're being pounded and cracked at every angle and side possible. Are we getting stronger or weaker?

Some husbands verbally and mentally abuse their wives to break their spirit. months after months and years or psychological abuse... to break and break them.
are these women getting stronger or weaker?
that's just one example.

It's easy to say that we can get stronger.. if it didn't kill us.
but the application of it isn't as easy... we're human, we carry, we have baggage, and we remember, we care and we love.. we expose what's inside.. then when we're hurt things need time to heal.

and people expect you to get stronger but sometimes when life doesn't let up, you WILL crack. When friends or loved ones are continuously pounding on you, knowingly or unknowingly, they might just be the ones that break your back.. or leave you like a raw egg with millions of cracks all over you.. and barely holding yourself together.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... yes.. that MIGHT be true.

but LOVE gives people 10 times more strength. love gives us affection, confidence, assurity, warmth and most of all strength. Go online and find over 100 quotes that talk about how love and friendship strengthens us, shows us the way.

yet everyone continues to believe that the hurting and pounding method is more effective.
you know why? because they're too scared to love. they're too scared to give care, because THEY'VE been hurt, and if they give love to someone else, they're opening themselves up to possible pain, so this is them sheilding themselves. making themselves stronger. protecting themselves. so in turn, they pound and pound instead of loving. and the cycle continues.

Maybe evolution does really rule us all.
survival of the fittest right?
so the ones that'll last.. are the ones that can handle all the pounding that seems to be going on.

Random #4

2007-12-02T08:54:00.000+04:00

It was nighttime.

I walked on this bridge made of dark grey stones over a small river.
in a town that was mostly asleep.

the river was black but shone the white street lamps like a mirror.
I walked over the arched bridge and wasn't at all bothered by the grey skulls that were lined all over the railing of the bridge on both sides. I just continued my nighttime stroll. It was like a ghostly world that not everyone could see.. .and it didn't bother me at all. To most people it was just a normal world. to me, it's like there were things i could see that are part of our world too. they were grey skulls, turning their heads and talking amongst themselves.. there was this long light grey see-through flame coming out of the top of each skull. You could almost imagine that they were upside down sperm, with the skull as the head and the long slow moving piece of smoke as a thick tail that was moving side to side very slowly and peacefully.

Somehow, i don't know how, i was in the middle of a conversation with one of the skulls... it was a friend of mine who had passed... and were engaged in some sort of conversation.
until i asked "how do you feel? what's it like being dead? are you in pain? do you sit all day and remember your past life? think of memories? do you just sit and ponder things all day?"
In which the head replied that it doesn't even know who it was, let alone think about memories.
I protested saying that it was someone i knew, and it MUST have memories cause it knew who i was and remembered me.

To which the skull replied that it had no memory of its living life, but ofcourse it knew who i was. Everyone knew who i was, because the the guy up there had spoken about me. called me his special project.

to which the skulls turned to face each other and whisper things, and as they did so, every two skulls that faced each other would cause their floating tail, or grey flame to become intwined with the other skull's. and if a skull turned to the other side, the flame would untwine and intertwine again with the next skull's.

I stood there staring.. as they whispered. Whether the whispers were in awe or mischief i didn't know.

nightmare or fantasy?

Theory #27 - Theory of "Highschool You"

2007-11-25T10:49:00.000+04:00

Been taking some time recently to find out who i am.
watched other people as well and their personalities..
i think i see something clearly now. This also might be because of the latest grey's anatomy episode that kinda brought this subject up.

Theory of "Highschool You".

I don't think we ever really grow out of the personas that we were in highschool.

it makes sense. It does really. Especially for people that were in the same highschool for many years. Who we were in highschool never really changes. Without a doubt, once you graduate you can start a whole new persona. I'm not saying that you're doomed to be the (jock, geek, prom queen, dork, etc..) for the rest of your life. Everyone knows when you get to college you start fresh.
Some people are able to completely change themselves and be something better, others have more difficulty.
but what my theory here says, is that it's especially hard to get rid of your "highschool you" around the people you've actually gone to highschool with.
Unfortunately this is a theory i wish i didn't believe in. but it's so hard to deny that i just have to believe it.

I think it's because of the time you've had with those people in highschool at such an impressionable age that it's just hard to get rid of that in your mind.
School is everything for learning to speak a language, to your first friend, your first best friend, your first crush, your first boyfriend, your first heart break, hitting puberty, your first cigarrette, your first drink...etc..for some people many different
"firsts".
Everyone knows that highschool is a battlefield all on its own, how could you possibly deny that those years haven't affected your personality indefinitely. dealing with things like peer pressure, parental pressure, college pressure, friends pressure. it MAKES you.
shapes you into a form of person that can deal with all of that till that graduation day.
for some people school was harsh, difficult, something to overcome.
For others it was a breeze and deny that they fit into any kind of stereotype of character in a school. Those are usually good people, cause they can't see the cliques and the persona's. but they ARE there whether they wanna see their persona's or not.
Being a teacher i see it in every grade. The bullies, the pretty girls, the intelligent girls, the class clowns, the pretty boys, the
players, the nerdy girl, the boys that get along with girls as "friends" who are borderline gay. they're all there... every year,
just new faces. and believe me when i say that those persona's are gonna be very hard to get rid of in the future. Even after they have reinvented themselves in college, once they're back in that crowd, around the same people.. you're bound to fall back into the "highschool you"
the outcast will feel alienated and longing for acceptance.
the pretty boys will always expect the girls to flock to them.
the older brothers/sisters will always be the "older" brothers/sisters
(same with the younger)
the social butterfly will always flutter about being the good guy/girl
the snobs will be the snobs.
Heartbreakers will always break hearts
and fools will always be fools.

i think it's because you've spent years establishing what your personality is around a person, it's hard to get rid of it.

again i have to emphasize... this theory is that the "highschool you" is bound to show up when you're AROUND the people you went to highschool with.
You could be one person all year round, then go to a reunion of some sort and find that you're acting completely different.

i have proof.
or rather, backup to my theory. it's the same thing that happens with family. no matter how old you get.. you usually feel the same towards your family. your younger sister/brother will always be your baby brother/sister. someone you want to protect. or someone who constantly a pain or annoyance to you. big brothers will always be the big brother. your parents will always be someone you fear yet respect and love. even when they get old and can't lift a hand to stop you, you still
follow what they say. That goes all the way back from your childhood when they could physically stop you from doing something they didn't want you to do.
so if that's true for family, why can't it be true for other people you spend a good portion of your life with? at a very developmental age? at a place that you spend most of your days and your social life?

most people want to deny this, but it's true.

it's not IMPOSSIBLE to change the "highschool you". It's just very, VERY hard to do it. Especially when you're constantly around people from highschool who don't really realize that they need to know the new REAL you.

people who will still always treat as who you were years and years ago.

Even if you liked yourself in highschool, hang around people you knew back then, and be honest and see if your relationship towards that person or how you act around them has changed much. Whether it's looking down at them, up at them, or as equals. be honest with yourself.. don't just give yourself the answer that you WANT to hear.

Random #3

2007-11-25T09:41:00.000+04:00

Can a night be wasted?

last night was a full moon.
clear skies.

and the breeze to show the beginning of winter.

cold, but not too cold.

just chilly enough for you to want someone's arms around you to keep you warm

"Love is like the wind. You can't see it but you can feel it"
- Mandy Moore (A Walk to Remember)

Random #2

2007-10-07T14:12:00.000+04:00

I know for a lot of things that happens in our bodies there's some kind of medical explanation. But sometimes i like to imagine what's going on instead.

Lately every time i hear my belly rumble I visualize exactly what's happening in my stomach.

I imagine bubbles from the inside finding their way to the outside and making my body smaller but not necessarily losing weight, just "size" smaller... Sorta like... an Aero bar.
It's chocolate with air bubbles in it. but.. imagine if you slowly melted it.. and all the bubbles rise to the surface while the chocolate melted downwards. the weight of the bar would remain the same.. but it would look slimmer.
that's what i think when i hear my belly rumble, it's just bubbles making it's way to the surface.

Random #1

2007-10-02T10:17:00.000+04:00

Somewhere Inside of Me - Allure Ft. Julie Thompson
Tiesto - In Search of Sunrise 6 (Ibiza)

Who am I, love?
What am I supposed to be?
One life alone,
Oh somehow it's made for me
What do I do?
What can I say?
It's nothing new,
The choice was made
But what if I lose my way?
And run right into you,
Deep inside we'll never be anything other than lonely,
Tell me what does it take?
To breathe it into you,
Weak inside we'll never be anything other than lonely
One bleeding scar,
Still feels how it used to feel,
It's all so wrong,
No easy way to believe
What do I do?
What can I say?
It's nothing new,
The choice was made
But what if I lose my way?
And run right into you,
Deep inside we'll never be anything other than lonely,
Tell me what does it take?
To breathe it into you,
Weak inside we'll never be anything other than lonely
I wanna ride,
I wanna hide,
What I've become,
Now you're no longer mine,
I wanna feel,
Something that's real,
Somewhere inside
But what if I lose my way?
And run right into you,
Deep inside we'll never be anything other than lonely,
Tell me what does it take?
To breathe it into you,
Weak inside we'll never be anything other than lonely
I wanna ride,
I wanna hide,
What I've become,
Now you're no longer mine,
I wanna feel,
Something that's real,
Somewhere inside

Theory #26 - Theory of Being Blunt

2007-09-25T12:43:00.000+04:00

This one's been bugging me for some time now.. Mostly cause i used to be someone who'd always say this, and now everyone says it as if it's some kind of fad or like it's cool.

Theory of Being Blunt.

Here's my theory... people who enjoy saying that they're blunt, and think it's some kind of GOOD quality, are just trying to find a loophole in society to be rude.

too often now people are interchanging the world "blunt" with "honest"
this is a HUGE mistake. people who are blunt can't help themselves.. it's their nature.. and it just spills outta them.. true, you can be able to identify your nature and warn people about it... but not RIGHT before you act on it and hurt their feelings.
people who announce that they're blunt.. and then act on it 2 seconds later, aren't blunt at all... they just want to be forgiven for whatever rudeness might spill out of their mouth next.

I'm a big fan of honesty, don't get me wrong, and i don't necessarily dislike blunt people, mostly cause i think most of the time i am too... but hand in hand with honesty should come another word. "tact"

LOOK IT UP.

If someone is honest to god blunt, then they'd be blunt about most of their opinions, not just the rude ones. they'd be blunt on compliments too. yes, those exist too!
but you don't see them often cause most of the time, people just use excuse that they're blunt so that they get a "get out of jail free" card to being rude.

Despite what you think, it's not "cool" to say that you're blunt. not anymore atleast now that people are generally walking around acting like assholes.

Theory #25 - Theory of Disney's Double meanings

2007-08-29T13:40:00.000+04:00

ok i gotta admit this one isn't really a theory... cause this is pretty much a fact nowadays that hollywood in the past has used cartoons to depict certain things about our society but make it somewhat light.. and in code so that kids don't really get it.
Especially things about men and women and social behavior!
check this out.

Theory of Disney's Double meanings

One of my favorites was an excerpt from The little mermaid that Ursula the sea witch sings to convince Ariel to give up her voice.
she says:
"The men up there don't like a lot of blabber. They think a girl who gossips is a bore! Yes on land it's much preferred for ladies not to say a word and after all dear, what is idle prattle for? Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation. True gentlemen avoid it when they can. But they dote and swoon and fawn on a lady who's withdrawn. It's she who holds her tongue who get's a man"

umm.. HOW TRUE IS THAT? how many times have you heard guys saying they like the mysterious type? lol..

And recently i was listening to this disney song (YES I LISTEN TO DISNEY ON MY IPOD).. and maybe it's my imagination..
but am i the only person who thinks pinocchio depicts a young immature guy who likes to lie a lot aka A PLAYER? if you read any review about the cartoon it's plain to see that the young boys were being taken to Pleasure Island where they could run around free to play and be naughty all they wanted.. but specifically in this song.. he talks about not having any strings... are we talking literally here or relationship strings?
after listening to the song now and thinking if there's a double meaning to the song...in it he talks about strings that would make him frown, and how without them he's free. how he has no worries... and how he has fun cause he's not tied up to anyone. then three girl puppets sing about how they're crazy about him.. and how they'd get rid of their strings too for him! doesn't that sound like women who pretend to like to fool around with no emotions just so they can mess around with a guy? like they'll compromise their morals of not having a proper relationship and just willing to mess around with a guy? pinocchio is a guy who likes to fool around and be carefree with NO STRINGS ATTACHED!!! lol... just read the lyrics and try to disagree with me.
AND he lies a lot and has to be punished for lying and that's why his nose grows longer!! ... doesn't that sound like a lot of men out there in the world? hahahaha i'm not hating on you guys out there.. but now you have a symbol to represent you all.. PINOCCHIO!! did i mention that in one point of the cartoon when he's left free to have all the carefree fun he wants and can be naughty all he wants, he gets turned into an ASS? LOL

Here's the song. Please read it line by line and tell me if it doesn't have a whole new meaning to you now.

Pinocchio:
I've got no strings
To hold me down
To make me fret, or make me frown
I had strings
But now I'm free
There are no strings on me
Hi-ho the me-ri-o
That's the only way to go
I want the world to know
Nothing ever worries me
Hi-ho the me-ri-o
I'm as happy as can be
I want the world to know
Nothing ever worries me
I've got no strings
So I have fun
I'm not tied up to anyone
They've got strings
But you can see
There are no strings on me
Dutch girl puppet:
You have no strings
Your arms is free
To love me by the Zuider Zee
Ya, ya, ya
If you would woo
I'd bust my strings for you
French girl puppet:
You've got no strings
Comme ci comme ca
Your savoire-faire is ooh la la!
I've got strings
But entre nous
I'd cut my strings for you
Russian girl puppet:
Down where the Volga flows
There's a Russian rendezvous
Where me and Ivan go
But I'd rather go with you, hey!

There are probably other stuff in the cartoons we just didn't notice as kids. but don't always assume cartoons are innocent!! :)

Theory #24 - Theory of Men's Taste

2007-08-22T22:00:00.000+04:00

As i finished the last theory.. this one sprung to mind and i just had to write it.

Theory of Men's Taste.

This is just to let girls know to stop trying to change their personality to suit guys and to grab their attentions.

Girls, you know how guys always make it a point to say what kind of girls they like? "i like girls who are classy" "i like girls who take charge".. blah blah blah.

what is most likely the case here is that they're subconsciously describing a girl they;'re already interested in or have a crush on or past girlfriends... something like that.

cause i'm here to tell you that guys don't know what they want.. and in the end.. they'll LIKE you no matter what kind of character you have. Cause let's say they do like a girl that takes charge. If they come across a girl they like, they'll say that's cool.

but if a girl rubs them the wrong way, but she's the type that takes charge.. it will no longer be seen as an admirable quality. more it'll be "she's so bossy.. she's so aggressive"

same thing with being quiet and reserved. If a guy likes the timid innocent flower type... if a girl tries to become that, but he just doesn't take to her anyways.. he'll just see her as being too quiet and reserved and boring.

it's a losing situation for girls anyways.. there is absolutely no way for you to conform the way you act so that it matches the kind of girl that a guy likes. what you'll find though, is that if you just be yourself.. and stop trying so hard to fit into something. He'll like who you are.. because who you are and how confident you are and comfortable you are with your own personality is REALLY what attracts the guys. and suddenly you'll find that HIS taste, will conform to fit with what your character is. Men are indecisive. They think they know what they want.. i really believe they think that.

Then again.. maybe i just think i know what i'm talking about.. but the pattern of how men think is just too obvious to ignore.

love yourselves.. and they'll adore you.
guys.. stop listing what you think you like. life's full of surprises and even what you think you like might change.

love you all

Theory #23 - Theory of Insanity

2007-08-22T21:43:00.000+04:00

This theory isn't as crazy as it sounds.

Theory of Insanity

Whether it just comes out of us from nowhere, or if we blindly walk into it, Insanity is as real as any physical danger or death trap we may come across in life. Now once you've entered insanity, you're in deep shit. Cause your brain splits into two. A logical side and a natural instinct side.

Three life-threatening situations come to my mind when comparing it to going insane.
- Falling into quicksand
- Being strangled by someone's hands.
- and being lost at sea with a shark circling.

Our natural BASIC instinct tells us to panic. But everyone knows that won't help. If you panic in quicksand you'll just drown faster. Also if you're panicking people will be too scared to reach out and help for fear that you pull them down with you in your frenzy. Which you might just do. Panicking when being strangled will only make us reach for our necks to try to loosen the pressure but is still futile. and panicking with a shark circling will just make splashes so that the shark can find you more accurately and confirm that you're something he wants to eat.
So what's the correct answer? If the instinct side of you tells you to panic, what does your logical side say? The answer is the same for all three and for falling into insanity: STAY CALM. Panicking in any case will not help, it might even make it worse. The FIRST step is always to be calm, even though every instinct in our body is screaming at us to panic and act upon self-preservation, staying calm is the first step. Staying calm will reduce how fast you sink in the quicksand. To give you more time to figure out how to escape. Or to give you more time for the chance someone finds you and stretches their arm out for you. Staying calm might trick the shark into thinking there's nothing there for him to eat, and he could just swim away. Again, it'll atleast buy you time to formulate a plan while he's confused. As for the murderer strangling you, if you just try to calm down, you'd realize you have two free hands to choke him back with! Or at least kick him in the nuts. When going into insanity, panicking is no use. It's illogical, it's paranoid and it'll hurt people the people around you that you care about and it will NOT slow down the fall. It'll only make you fall faster.
Treat insanity and it's ugly cousins like depression the same way you treat real-life crisis. stay calm. That's what i think. That's my theory, that insanity should be treated as real physical danger. cause it is. Sure don't sit on your ass for too long, wait for the dust to settle then make your move out of danger.
Whatever the danger , STAY CALM. Then either wait for a helping hand, plan an escape route, hope it goes away , or FIGHT BACK. You have options, but if you panic, the only option is death.
Grim...I know.
but it's the truth. I know it's difficult I know that those who panic the most are those who have a lot that they love in life and wanna hold on to it. So for all those people going slowly into madness... good luck.

and remember... you're in it alone. you got yourself in this mess. get yourself out.

Theory #22 - Theory of Bonds

2007-05-26T00:05:00.000+04:00

For all the people trying so hard to push other people away.
and for all the people trying so hard to hold on to other people.

this is for you...

Theory of Bonds

I don't think the bond you have and share with someone is like a fruit.
Comparing a friendship or a bond to a fruit means it's starts small, with time and love it grows and ripens into something delicious but that means it either has to be consumed or by nature it'll rot and spoil.

so no... i don't think a bond is like a fruit.

i think it's like a precious stone.
like almost all precious stones, if not all.. they are at first undiscovered.. hidden in caves or in the earth.
there are many types, diamonds, rubies, opals, topaz... some more valuable than others... some more appreciated and recognized than others even.
and i mean all kinds of bonds. family, friends, lovers.. everything.

when two people meet the bond isn't always clear yet.. takes time to dig it up, to break off whatever sediments are on it.
with other people, the brightness and beauty shines right away.
this goes back to my theory of transparency.. how transparent you are with someone around you also effects how clear the gem is gonna be..

sometimes we could look at a rock and think it's not worth keeping.. other people see potential and look for that beauty within. the bond that could exist.
sometimes friends become like siblings after the test of time... after circumstances and trials.. this is much of how diamonds for example are made.. if you've ever seen what a diamond looks like between when it's found and when it's sold in a shop, you'd see the difference.. it just needed a little attention.. a little work, to make something beautiful.
sometimes we're disappointed.. trying to clear off all the rubble off what we thought would be precious but turns out not to be.
you could know someone for YEARS and both of you not bother clearing up the stone to see how great it could be.. but then after time and circumstance the real gem appears from under everything.
but the point of the matter is.. gems, are timeless.
if you found something beautiful... you can't change that. .. you can't change that connection or bond. you can try to cover it up, try to hide it... to get it out of your site, but it'll still be there... all you have to do is put the effort to dig it up again, to shine it again.. to work on it again and you'll have it once more.
you could also decide that the price to pay.. to have that gem, is just not worth it...

but no amount of TIME, or DISTANCE will diminish it's existence or it's beauty, no matter how you try.

you could forget about it, sure, out of sight, out of mind...... but don't go around pretending it doesn't exist or never did... and dont' try to change it. change it's color or it's character. it is what it is.. hard, beautiful and everlasting.

Theory #21 - Theory of our Animal Sides

2007-05-14T13:13:00.000+04:00

you ever feel that you're acting somewhat outta character, yet.. still you? more like.. a you, but a new you or a different part of yourself?

I read a book a while ago called Half-Human and it offered an idea about something and i've been thinking about it ever more recently.

here goes.

Theory of our Animal Sides

We are HUMAN. yes we are, but I've heard that we're not really using our entire body or minds to the maximum. that we're only utilizing part of our potential.
In this book i read they explore the possibility that maybe the rest of us not SO human.

My theory is that this might be true in a spiritual sense.

We're always characterizing people by animals.. "cunning as a fox" "proud as a lion" "stealthy as a panther in the night"... you get my drift.

So in spirit, can't we really be partially animalistic?
i'm being a bit out-there i know. but why not?
different animals have different characteristics.. but they share some too, so that's not to see lions are ONLY proud for example. you could be a bunch of other stuff too.. and the combination of your characteristics and the one that sticks out the most is the animal that matches you. is basically the animal inside you.

I'm not the first person to come up with this! American Indians always had the idea of Spirit animals and one that suits you and guides you. so see i'm not completely crazy.

after doing some research about it.. some psychologists took it a bit too far, saying things like .. "fish living in the sea are associated with the unconscious mind and symbolize a deep mind." or "by meditating on the various qualities of reptiles and their mythical associations, it may be possible to access the reptilian aspects of the mind that correspond to the limbic system in the brain, which deals with sensory impressions, pleasure and pain. Likewise, by meditating on various mammals, a path is opened to the mammalian aspects of the human psychic corresponding to the thalamus and the hypothalamus in the brain associated with the emotions, a sense of community, and instinctual wisdom."

ok i didn't really GET all of those words, and i don't totally agree with what they're saying but it proves my point that animals are integrated into our psyche in some way. think of it basically this way. if you were an animal. what animal would you be? what is the characteristic in you that sticks out the most? you could in your life or in a day show different animal qualities, but i think generally in our lives overall.. there's one animal you act like more than the others.

Haven't you ever looked at someone and just imagined them as some type of animal? no i'm not talking about their physical characteristics... i mean, just something about the way they talk, look at you, or even how they assess situations. It could be what kind of parents you are, different animals react to parenthood in different ways. maybe it's what good of a home you have, building like a beaver? or like the quran implied that the house ruled by the woman is a house of a spider = web (females spiders are usually in control) people mesh into groups and situations in different ways and i think that part of our characteristics, especially when it comes to integrating with other people, is our animal sides coming out. that's how we know who is the king of the jungle in a group, who are the predators, who are the preys, the livestock.. or just plainly the
bottom of the food chain.

Whatever animal you are, it's primal, and therefore when that side of you appears it'll be very clear to the people around you and i think very seductive in it's simplicity. because you're letting out a very "basic" side of you.. with no inhibitions.

I say try to figure out what kind of animal you are and embrace it.

Theory #20 - Theory of Effects of Drinking

2007-04-09T08:49:00.000+04:00

no more excuses...

Theory of Effects of Drinking

Lots of times, people will say after a long night of partying "dude i'm so sorry, i was drunk, i didn't know what i was doing"

I think that's bullshit.
Don't come at me with all this crap about what it's like when you're drunk.. i get it.. i really do, you're not in TOTAL control of your actions. But that's only because everything you wanna do YOU DO. It's not like you become someone else. Alcohol is just a medium that's used to make you express and do things you wouldn't have the guts to do otherwise.
People who say stupid shit when they're drunk.. have already thought about those thoughts and already FEEL that way. the alcohol didn't make them feel that way, it just made them actually say it.

People who do crazy things like jump outta cars or jump into rivers ARE actually insane.. maybe they actually wouldn't do it if they were sober, but they have it in their heart to do wild shit.
Even people who are abusive or mean when they're drunk.. that means it's what's really INSIDE them...
If you cry a lot when you're drunk, you probably feel like crying all the time during the day.... but you collect yourself and you don't.
If you're one of those people who tells the world you love them, and you feel the urge to express your emotions to them, and what they mean to you and how much you love them.. you're probably a big softie on the inside but always held back your feelings. the fact that you're drunk doesn't make those feelings less REAL.
If you just say stupid things and act like a retard... THAT PROBABLY MEANS YOU'RE A RETARD.
Think of it this way.. if there's a beast inside all of us.. some kind of dog for example... .
whether it's those stupid annoying chihuahua's or a pitbull or a poodle... during our normal daily lives we wear our leashes.
we're docile and we're home broken. but just like dogs, there are some that the leash doesn't really have a grip on them, and they're true nature comes out. they're not trained.. or there are some that are even strays.. never had the
burden of a leash.

when people get drunk.. THE LEASHES COME OFF.

you don't become someone else, that's just an excuse people come up with to validate their actions, kinda like a permamnent "get out of jail free" card.....but it's not true.. you just bring out the dog in you.

horny drunk = horny sober person
abusive drunk = abusive sober person
sad drunk = sad sober person
mean drunk = mean sober person
wild drunk = wild sober person
loving drunk = loving sober person
stupid drunk = stupid sober person

you get the picture.

Theory #19 - Theory of Relating to Songs

2007-03-06T13:36:00.000+04:00

Theory of Relating to Songs

Is there a reason why we like songs SO much?
I mean, sometimes there are songs that we like to chill to.. or sometimes some we just like to dance to... I wanna believe that the artsy fartsy reason behind the creation of music is because the artist is able to create the mood we are in using vocals and instruments.. and match it. doesn't that make sense?

Songs that don't have words are easier to relate to... cause that's just pure emotion "sadness" "happiness" "freedom".... and makes it all the more easier to feel what the artist was feeling. which i still think is an amazing accomplishment,

A lot of people relate to songs, find meanings in the words. Some people argue that people are just trying to shape up their feelings like a kid's toy to make it FIT the song. kinda like a triangle fits in a triangle hole.. so a love song about someone leaving is "SO ABOUT YOU"...

i have to agree.. we might distort things in our reality to make it FIT to a song sometime.. but not always.
A lot of times, and this is my theory part... so pay attention... A LOT OF TIMES, someone will hear a song... will love it, will
memorize the words and sing it over and over cause this time.. the triangle shape DID fit..and this artist found words to express what you were feeling in words you couldn't find. in words you thought you were crazy and alone for feeling or thinking.
i think there's a comfort in that, hearing someone express something you couldn't put in words.. and ultimately realizing that you're NOT alone. that there is atleast ONE other human being (the songwriter) who felt the exact same way you felt. who argues the same logic as YOU, who makes the same arguments and fights the same inner battles you're fighting. in essence, it just might make you feel less crazy...

props to all the dj's and artists out there.

Theory #18 - Theory of V-Day

2007-02-14T13:49:00.000+04:00

You HAD to have seen this one coming.
I have had a boyfriend ONCE during this day.. and even then we didn't go all out.

but every year, i make it a point to wear something pink or red.. even today, i'm wearing a Red heart necklace. Because i think we all need a day like Valentines. So this theory goes out for all the people who hate valentines day and wish it didn't exist.

Here's what i think.

Theory of V-Day
I think Valentines day is ofcourse a product of us humans. And it's futile to wish that this day didn't exist or to pretend it doesn't.

Look, we've reached an age where almost every expression we have, we've chosen 1 day in the year to express it. For some people we have Eid or Christmas to spend time with family. New years, to make new decisions in our lives. Mother's day, father's day... parental appreciation...the list goes on. so even if it wasn't Feb. 14, we would have sooner or later come up with some kakamania day to universally express our love for someone else.(some other cultures that DONT' celebrate valentines actually have other days other than feb. 14 for lovey dovey stuff.. .look it up on wikipedia!) but you know what? we should take that to our advantage..and use this one day rule in another way...

First let me express CLEARLY that i don't approve of only deciding on ONE day in the year to get stuff done.. (to make new life decisions, tell your mom you love her, express love to a partner). that's bull.. every day should be valentines, should be eid, should be mother's day... But anyways, human nature has shown that we NEED one day in a year to express something.

If looking around proves anything, this one day rule seems to be a very popular idea.. and i'm hoping this celebrating one day for whatever reason is a good psychological way of handling things. People will ignore their family all year, but then say "oh but i spent christmas with them, i'm a good son/daughter".. or everyone will ignore their friends and not be there for them.. but when their birthday comes around, they feel like they're SHARING something with them by being there.
whatever.. I don't like this whole "let's pick ONE day to get a whole year's work done"... but... if that's what we're dealing with.. so be it.

So in this case, to all the single people who are depressed or feel sorry for themselves, i say embrace valentines. take it as the ONE day you're allowed to feel sorry for yourself and lonely.. but then for the rest of the year, GET ON WITH IT.

then get the WHOLE YEAR of moping and depression outta the way.. and do it today. but let that be the end of it till next year. We should take advantage of the existence of a day like valentines. If human nature has shown anything it's our need for a day of expression some kind of emotion.. and there are some WEIRD things out there.. i've even heard of "be nice to your pet day"
so why not? if you feel valentines is forced on you, then just embrace it as the day you're fighting loneliness... it MUST be useful psychologically in some way. I have to believe that given the evidence of our nature.

Denying or wishing this day didn't exist is just stupid. Note: people who are already moping around all year, you're already
over your quota of whining, so you don't get valentines. People who are in love, whether you wanna make a big deal or not..
doesn't really matter.. just as long as your partner knows how much you care.. ALL YEAR ROUND.

Sorry if this seems harsh, but i'm tired of hearing people complaining about this day. I dread it too.. especially cause i'm single.. but i'm embracing it.

Happy V-day everyone.

Theory #17 - Theory of Human Nature and Reality

2007-01-15T14:00:00.000+04:00

Lately I've been so sick and tired of people trying to explain and drill into my head what the world is like and what I have to accept, and to give in basically to the way things are or the way people are. Generally speaking that kind of position to have something forced on you is just frustrating.

Theory of Human Nature and Reality

The definition of reality is "The world or state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them."

This is a completely true statement. What people nowadays fail to realize is that you can CHANGE realities. not everything in the way the world is is FINAL. Reality is what we make of it and nobody seems to see that.

Reality is a general agreement that people have fallen back on when things get too difficult or frustrating in their lives. My theory is that people TOO often are using "reality" as a scapegoat to blame the shitty way the world is or the way people are, and use that word so that they don't have to try so hard in whatever challenge they're up against..
I know i'm contradicting myself because i did afterall say that reality is what WE make of it, but we're humans, and we're bound to screw up and make a mess of things. doesn't mean we can't fix some long standing "realities" that we have in the world and change it to something better.

Everyone just sees it as a basic rule and there's no use fighting it. The PROBLEM is that no one has the guts to be different or thinking differerntly with the chance of getting hurt so that maybe things can change.

If there's a harsh reality out there that you wish was different then do everything you can to change it. Even if it hurts you . I'm not talking about the nature of gravity or things like that. I'm talking about actual HUMAN nature. and not about the basic emotions like let's say if someone hurts you, you get sad. If someone loves you, you get happy.
those are basic human nature reactions that i don't think can be changed.
What i'm referring to are things that we can TRY to change. like what? Things that have an equal tug of good and bad groping at them.
It's very hard for me to narrow down exactly what i'm trying to explain. The way people are, the way they interact or respond to certain things is human nature yes. And when something bad comes around, people are quick to say "oh it's no use... it's reality".
So change it!
Ghandi said "Be the change you want to see in the world." I honestly believe that.

If you want people to be more forgiving.. then YOU start being more forgiving. even if they dont' deserve it!
if you want people to be more understanding, then YOU start being more understanding, give people the benefit of the doubt.
If you wish people were more tolerant of other people's quirks and faults, you try doing that too!
too many times i hear people say "people don't fogive and forget easily, or people don't trust people too quickly.. that's reality..
that's just the way people are."
Why???
why can't we live in a world where people give without reason?
why can't we live in a world where people's first thought of other people are good ones and not doubt?
where we can trust openly?

I'm not saying i don't understand WHY we use "reality" as a scapegoat. it's safer. so much safer to just succumb to it and not get hurt. Cause yes, trusting openly could get you stung quick. loving quickly could hurt. forgiving without reason could seem to make you vulnerable. But is everyone in the world really ALL such cowards??
If you ever want the whole world to start BEING better people and caring people, you need to set an example. In no way can you force people to change and be the way you want them to be. But YOU can be that way. Even if you fail in your efforts.
Even if nobody changes around you, you never know, your efforts might be remembered. You never know. Cause your effort might inspire or encourage someone else to change. And then YES I believe human nature can change. It can become a norm.
Where people actually look at people who DON'T trust quickly or DON'T forgive easily as the people going against human nature. For example, discrimination used to be a BIG thing everywhere. Blacks, women, other religion.. etc. and when something horrible or racist or sexist would occur, people would just say that's the reality of the situation.
but now look, after many movements and A LOT of time.. people are finally coming around. i'm not saying discrimination is completely non-existent. But it's nice to know that the majority of people don't judge people by their colors or sex anymore. We have as humans slightly changed. Because people grew to understand that the reality of the situation was wrong and unfair. Why can't it be the same for other human characteristics?

This is something good to hope for, and nothing bad ever came out of hoping for things to get better. I'm sick and tired of people sitting there saying that that's reality and that's the way things are and not trying to change it.

Succumbing to a reality that you're not satisfied with is just too easy... CHANGE REALITY. RISK getting hurt for something that could be great for EVERYONE. you never know who you might inspire.. and how that might catch on.

But please, don't be upset or discouraged if you don't succeed in changing the world and reality. Atleast you tried, which is more than i can say for most people.

Theory #16 - Theory of Hugs

2006-12-19T19:42:00.000+04:00

Seeing as how i just wrote about kisses, i figure I'd follow it up right away with one about hugs.

Theory of Hugs

Who DOESN'T like hugs? i know there's a few people out there who don't enjoy hugs from anyone, but i wanna believe that everyone has at least one person they like to be hugged by. even if they're not the "hugging" type.
but what's so great about a hug? anyone can do it.. it's not sex, it's not kissing.. it's just a hug.
In my opinion, a hug, unlike the kiss, is a different kind of sharing. Kissing is sharing yourself with someone, talking to them, saying something.. giving them a part of you.
Hugging is just.. pure... giving.
it's warmth, it's unconditional, it's just a pure form of happy, positive energy. no matter which kind of hug it is.. even goodbye hugs are filled with love. you know the type i'm talking about, the kind you squeeze them so hard cause you're trying to squeeze SOMETHING outta them.. but what? In my opinion you're just shooting into them as much love as you can, for them to carry with them.. and the same goes when they hug you back.
I think it's amazing that god gives us all these simple little things that we can do that have such a strong effect. Lovers hugging each other, a friend comforting another through a hard time, someone chasing someone else's fears away with a hug.

Why is it we feel so warm and safe and happy in a hug?
You ever notice that when you're in a hug, it's like the whole world melted away? that hug fought all your fears away all the worries you have disappear for the slightest second and everything is warm and you believe everything's gonna be alright.
In my opinion, i think that hugs are the closest we can get to the feeling we had inside our mother's womb.

Let's take a step back for a minute and ask who is the closest human being to us? Considering that this is my "theories", we're just gonna follow my opinion when i say that the closest person to us should be our mothers.
We all have one, even Islam says just how highly we have to regard them, love and care for our mothers. they carried us after all in their wombs for 9 months, cared for us then, and even when we grew up, they love us unconditionally. But people say though it's because of the time we spent in the womb that we grow so attached to the mother. When you're a baby they say that you can identify your mother from the rhythm of her heart beat. it calms you cause it's what you're used to since the day you existed as a fetus.
There is also a certain position one might take when they're in a very distraught state of mind, looking for comfort.. it's called the fetal position, the one you take inside your mother's womb. There's even talks that you know a grown man is at his weakest, when he calls out for his mommy. why do i bring this up? to explain to you how that warmth inside the womb, and that bond created is SO strong and lasts with us our whole life.
could it be maybe, that when we hug people.. we're looking for that warmth?
Don't be stupid here, i'm not saying that when you hug your wife or husband you're wishing it was your mother. No...
what i'm saying is that when someone hugs you, you're feeling the safety and the warmth that you felt in your mother's belly. and THAT'S what makes a hug so strong and effective.

you ever notice how picky you are with who you choose to hug or not to? that's because i think subconsciously you KNOW how strong a hug is and what kind of bond it is, and your choice on where to use it is your own

mother's ofcourse will give their unconditional hugs and love to their children. We hug our friends and loved ones cause we have a strong bond with them and we want to give them love, without strings.. just a pure force of energy. other people, we'll be distant and give half-hearted hugs. that's still our choice. hugs, like kisses, are something that can't be faked. you can spot the duds a mile away.

I think god created us in the most beautiful way, and I'm glad he gave us these methods of sharing positive energy with one another, of making another human being's day so much better using something so simple. It's truly beautiful and a gift that we unfortunately also take for granted sometimes, and just don't understand.

Theory #15 - Theory of the Kiss

2006-12-19T19:04:00.000+04:00

I'm pretty sure that in one episode of desperate housewives they kinda talked about this subject, ... but i just realized that after i started thinking about it these last couple of days.

it's about something so simple yet unrivaled when it comes to expressing emotions. I really don't think there's anything more powerful than a kiss.

Theory of the Kiss

Kisses are themselves a different language. They are THAT powerful that they don't need words. I'd like to think of the lips as the gateway to the person. When you kiss someone, on the lips you're forming a connection together. to combine yourselves to one another. you're trying to be whole. to share yourself.

What is it about a kiss?
Is it magic? Is there a touch of something heavenly from god that he personally puts at our disposal in our lips to share with other people? it has to be.. it's more powerful than anything i've ever seen. The amount of different emotions it stirs up, just by experiencing it, or seeing it is insane. it's everything, it's love, it's promises, it's lies too.. it's like the biggest proof someone could get to reassure their heart yet at the same time the biggest lie they might get in their life. I've seen people get weak in the knees and get dizzy from a kiss, i've seen people travel far distances just for a kiss, and i've seen people's hearts break.. just from a kiss..

And i'm talking about all kisses, there's something so personal and forceful about a kiss i really don't think it's that easy to deny. Yes sometimes a kiss might be meaningless, if you're not receiving it completely, like when someone kisses you on a cheek. But even the cheek kiss means something. some of the sweetest most meaningful kisses are the innocent ones on the cheek, forehead, or hand even. like a cute baby that you can't help but kiss repeatedly on the cheek. why? is it just cause those cheeks are just so yummy? or cause you can't help but smother that person with your love. that's what you're doing with your mouth, you're trying to share yourself with them.

People will have sex and still not be emotionally connected if they don't kiss. There is a BIG difference when you're intimate with someone and kiss them, and when you don't. It tells a lot of how much of yourself you're sharing. it tells just how much of yourself you're willing to give to them.
you can tell SO much from a kiss. it's true, kisses don't lie. EVER. unless you want them to lie..
fake kisses are easy to spot. you CANNOT fake the emotions in a kiss, unless the person you're kissing is that easily tricked. which in most cases there are. sometimes people just want to be kissed, they want to be lied to..
yes the kiss is THAT powerful that even though when it's a sham, it's still strong enough to do the job. to fullfill that longing someone might have inside them. it's still forceful enough that the recipient wouldn't care whether it's a lie or not.

Goodbye kisses are the worst. Heart wrenching even. all the sadness in the world could fit into that kiss.. where words aren't necessary, you could just hear it saying "i don't want to be away from you, stay, don't go, you're breaking my heart, don't do this... i'll love you forever"... that kiss itself could break your heart into billions of pieces.

The kisses among friends are sweet, and innocent..i'm not talking about those day to day "hi bye" kisses.. i'm talking about like when you're best friend is so sad and thinks the whole world hates them, and you place a very delicate kiss on their cheek. that means a lot. you might not think it doesn't. but it does. even the ones you give for example after seeing them after so long... the kiss in itself says just how much you missed them.

Then there's the "falling in love" kisses... where every moment is enjoyed.. every motion of the lips.....whether on the lips or any other part of the body. you're lips start talking this other language where they express to the other person's lips and skin just HOW much they love you and adore you. you could close your eyes and practically hear these make believe voices say "i love you, you're precious to me, you're my everything"... that's the language of kissing. kissing is an action that goes back and forth. just like speech. and how your lips respond to one another, that could be like talking.. right?

or the passionate kisses.. the ones so filled with hunger your lips won't have TIME to actually talk.. but again, close your eyes and listen and you'll hear it.. "i want you.. i need you.. i have to have you... NOW" The force especially in this kind of kiss is definitely unrivaled by any other form of expression, even words. there's so many other kisses, the "i'm sorry" kisses, "i love you forever", "i forgive you", "reassuring" kisses or even "motherly love"... .. why else do mothers kiss your booboo when you get hurt? isn't it in some kind of belief that a kiss has as little magic in it? that'll make it better? that's what a mother does right, she gives her love to take care of her children.

people today take kisses too lightly. degrading their value even. kisses are one of the most powerful tools that god has given us and other than abusing it, we've taken it for granted. you can tell anyone almost anything by kissing them...
believe me your lips will still be doing the talking, just not the way you think. next time someone kisses you, or you kiss them, no matter what kind of kiss it is.. partner, family or friend... listen closely and i PROMISE you you'll hear exactly what they're trying to tell you.

go share yourself with someone... right now, tell them something that you don't wanna say using words

Theory #14 - Theory of Dance

2006-12-04T10:18:00.000+04:00

I've heard many times people compare the way people dance, to the way they are in bed. I thought that was interesting enough for me to take a further look in to it and actually THINK about it. this is what i came up with.

I probably need to think about this more to get this theory completely clear, but i hope i didn't confuse anyone. it's a bit messy.

Theory of Dance

The way you are when you dance is how you are in life... with your partner or potential partner especially. Now i'm not restricting this simply to the bedroom, although that is part of it, but i also mean in your demeanor. The real you. The part of you that usually no one sees or knows about except your partner.

If you could just for a moment imagine music as a person. Let's USE our imaginations here.
couldn't it maybe kinda be possible that different types of music also reflects different personalities? and brings it out in you?

We all like different kinds of music, some more than others. And our body moves to that music accordingly. Go to any club or dance and see the different ways people are dancing to the same song. some are confident and sexy, others are timid and shy, some are just awkward and keep looking around to who's looking. other's are just in their own world, some like to do a group thing and do what everyone else is doing.

If your partner was Rock music, how you react to it, how your body is.. not necessarily how WELL you dance, but how much you really enjoy the music is who you REALLY are. the way you take in the music and let it control you is in my opinion linked to you psychologically and how you react with someone.

Same with all other types of music. I think dance is truly the time of self-expression, and everyone expresses it better in different ways. some with rock, some with rnb, some with house music. sometimes you'll be stiff, sometimes you'll have your hands up in the air not giving a shit what anyone is looking at. My theory is basically that that person your turn into when you dance, is what you're like in your most PERSONAL level with your partner.
That's the REAL you.
whether you're fun, or conservative, or serious, or very professional, or sexy, or hip with the latest moves.. ... that's the true essence of YOU.
I dont' wanna exaggerate but if i had to take a stab at it.. it would be something like..
if you were very professional while you dance, means you take something seriously, and wanna do it right.

when you dance:
if you're conservative.. means you wanna have fun, but not TOO much.
If you're serious when you dance.. that probably means you have a no nonsense attitude about a lot of things in life too.
If you're sexy... that means you have a very physical attitude in life.
if you're hip, that means you're always into the latest and in tune with the NOW.
if you're fun, that means you don't care about anyone's opinion and you wanna make the most outta life.
if you're in your own world, you probably are the kind of person that looks for someone that makes them feel like they're escaping reality.
if you're eyes are always on your dance partner, you're very into pleasing or making contact with a partner
If you're self-concious when you dance, well.. that's kinda obvious. Insecure.
If you simply DON'T dance, you probably don't take too many risks in your life, or rather you choose not to INDULGE yourself in life or getting too personal.

then again, this is my opinion.

some people are a combination, and to different musics. different music brings out different parts in people.. just like other people do... for example the company you keep, and the part of your personality that comes out when with different people.

yes i have to go back to the fact about how you'd be in bed. A lot of what goes on in the bedroom is how your body responds to the other person, and how they respond to you. Kinda like how you respond to certain music and beats and how receptive you are. Music goes in to you, takes over you.. and your body responds...like someone could. so yes, in THIS case, i woudl say the better dancer you are, no matter what kind of song, as long as you get someone who matches you, you'll
be great together in bed.

I bet you'll be looking quite differently at people in the club now huh?

Theory #13 - Theory of the Big House

2006-11-19T08:45:00.000+04:00

With the technological era that we're living in, it's only adequate i write a technologically influenced theory.

Theory of the Big House

Long LONG ago.. when a friend moved away, we're all in tears and crying cause we're gonna miss that person so much and we're not gonna hear from them.. oh the pain, oh the pain.

granted there are still a lot of tearful goodbyes at the airport, the amount has reduced significantly simply because of our lifestyle now. the world has become tiny. We have e-mails, msn chat, phone calls from each other's mobiles, sms'ing and video and audio calls online.

Now i actually think that this is great, that we're all staying connected, but i think it's having another unanticipated side to it as well.
How many times have you gone online or called a friend and actually had a nice looong conversation, catching up and all?
it doesn't really happen anymore. yeah from time to time you write to someone about what's going on in your life. but it's always a random message on msn, a text message, a short phone call.. something of that sort.

It's kinda like, we're all living in this big house together.. a.k.a. THE WORLD. when you're living with someone in the same house you don't greet them EVERY time with a big hello and a hug and start catching up on everything.. you say hi maybe, sometime you don't.. you say what's up, what's new... but very casually.

everyone's just emotionally "away" like our status online. we're THERE.. we're just not really there. sure we're connected, but because it's so casual and easy now we don't really make a big deal anymore when we do talk to each other.

we hardly ever have long or meaningful conversations with people anymore. or rather we dont' appreciate each other's company AS MUCH anymore i think.. when it comes to long distance. we can feel each other around.. i just have to look at msn and see the list of people that are "away" and i feel like they're my roommates all in their respective rooms. .. but am i gonna go EACH time and say "hi! i miss you! long time!" to each person? no.. not really..
kinda like when you live with people.. they're there when you need them.. but no need to make an event out of everytime you talk to them.

this wasn't possible before when people were out of town, but that's what it's come to.
This isn't necessarily a bad thing, all of us living under one roof.. but don't you miss every once in a while those conversations of catching up?
you dont' really get much of a chance to miss someone, cause the minute you do you can call them on their mobile phone to see how they are, or just sms them telling them about something funny you saw that day. which was not possible before.

I just think we need to be careful when living in this big house, I think soon we'll be walking around with shirts that say "away" cause we're so used to interacting with people in that manner. where everyone's available when i need them, it's no trouble really FINDING them.

Just try to remember to spend some time with your roommates from time to time.

Theory #12 - Theory of Comforted Depression

2006-10-31T12:34:00.000+04:00

You ever notice how A LOT of people are depressed?
If being depressed is such a horrible state, why are so many people in it?

Theory of Comforted Depression

Simply put, because we're humans, and we care... we're always gonna try to be there for one another.
Comfort each other in times of need... the problem that comes here is that people exploit this weakness in us humans to the max. Maybe they're not doing it on purpose.. but they DO do it.

If someone is going through a rough phase, they'll receive warm words, reassuring hugs and a lot of love from people around them. we call this "being supportive" Technically it's correct... Depressed people do need a lot and a lot of support. BUT.. .what REALLY is depression nowadays? just when you're sad? when's the depression over? yet the friends and family still give support. So, the "depressed" person will get warm hugs, boosts of confidence, love, have people try to boost their ego.... all these things.. because they're loved ones want them to feel better. But if they're receiving all these goodies, who WOULDN'T want to be depressed? Having unlimited access of kindness, sympathy and plain old HUGS could get any person into the depression Con game.

I'm not saying they're deliberately setting out to pretend to be depressed, but sometimes they might milk it for all it's worth because they're so hooked on the attention it brings.

Basically i'm saying the reason so many people are depressed, is because whether we like it or not, we've made it kinda comfortable.

So this theory is for all the people offering "support". you're in a tight situation. you need to be supportive, and you can't really put a time limit or measure on depression, but be careful and make sure that your friend/family is not just hooked on your goodies, cause then you'll have to remind them that depression isn't supposed to be pleasant.

Theory #11 - Theory of Inside/Outside

2006-10-08T12:44:00.000+04:00

Here's a theory to help people understand other people.. and not expect too much or too little from them

Theory of Inside/Outside

I've come to the conclusion.. that people who are soft on the inside are hard on the outside and vice versa.
What i mean is.. if you find a guy or girl.. who look like they're SOO sensitive.. and cry or whine about every little thing.. believe it or not, i think those are the people that can survive emotionally in any situation life can dish out at them.
and the people who seem to be rock solid and don't even flinch when something comes their way.. they are WAAAAAY more sensitive than other people.

For people who are soft on the outside, it's always misconceived that these people are "weak". did it ever occur to anyone, that maybe the fact that they're always appear sensitive is because they express their emotions? everyone knows when you dont' express emotions it'll build up inside you and eventually you'll crack. so isn't it healthy for the people who are in touch with their emotions that the express them?
i'm not talking about the overly sensitive people that'll cry if someone gives them a bad name or something.. just.. people who get hurt quickly.. those guys.. i think they're more in tuned with their emotions, i dont' think it means they're "weak". infact.. BECAUSE they deal with their emotions, when a big bomb is dropped on them that's supposed to leave them in an emotional coma, they actually get outta there standing just fine.

as for the rock shelled people on the outside. we percieve them as so TOUGH and we dish out whatever meanness we have on them cause we think they can take it, but it must have occured to everyone that self-preservation is key. and that person probably knows how weak they are on the inside, so they build this HUGE tough shell.. to preserve themself. they probably work so hard on building that wall that they just never get around to hardening the insides a bit and in turn, psychologically make themselves even weaker and weaker by just working on the outside shell.

I could be wrong with this theory as well.. it could just be that when we see someone soft on the outside for example, and see how strong they turn out to be, we get shocked cause we didn't imagine it possible.
same as with tough people on the outside, the minute we see them a bit weak, we see the difference and think "oh my god.. i never knew they were so weak!"

so.. yeah.. i fully admit that i could be wrong about this.. but i'm putting this theory out there.

I also have to add that most people are nice mediums.. this is an OR situation. where you HAVE to be one or the other.. you could be a nice balance... and that's good for you :)

Theory #10 - Theory of Angels

2006-09-01T22:43:00.000+04:00

Each time i write these theories i can see i'm going further and further away from logic, and i can just HEAR the screaming replies trying to drill facts into my head.
lol.. i just can't help it though.

For all the angels out there..

Theory of Angels

Angels are all around us.. and most of us are too blind or ignorant to notice.

I started by getting definitions of "Angel" from casual resources and official ones. Generally they wear white robes, halos, wings.. inner light..

what i loved the most is that the actual definition of the word angel is not defined as the same thing everywhere you look. it can be the actual angels that god created, which even the description there isn't always definite.. always something to do with being loving, beautiful, kind, caring..
but you've heard the word "angel" associated with innocence and virtue, or as a messenger from god for good. I even remember reading an aaya in the quran that says god put angels on earth in human form. I wish i could remember which one to back me up, but you're just gonna have to trust me. many people i've realized though have very HIGH expectations of people they call angels. like they're supposed to be "perfect" to be called angels. i disagree with that idea.
if everyone can have a little devil and a little angel in them.. then why can't EVERYONE be an angel? we dont' have to be COMPLETELY pure and innocent to qualify for a halo. you could aspire to have angelic QUALITIES.. kindness, mercy, forgiveness, innocence, virtue, beauty, sincerity, honesty, generosity, understanding, love.. etc..
you dont' have to have ALL those qualities.. but even if you have ONE of those qualities... you're an Angel in my book.. in this world we live in that people lack so many of these qualities, it's a miracle if you have even one of them.

so why not? angels dont' have to be those white-dressed people or spirits created from god.
You are probably an Angel. accept that fact, embrace it. dont' get cocky or full of yourself.. but i'm sure to someone, you are an angel, and the world is a better place with you around. any one of you can be an angel.. appreciate those people around you too, the angels you have around you... they really are a blessing. and as corny as this sounds, the more angels we have around.. the more this world is gonna start looking like heaven.

as for the little devils in us... i'll leave that for another theory :)

Theory #9 - Theory of Substitutes (and the ultimate Need)

2006-07-31T03:06:00.000+04:00

(sorry it's a long one)
i'm on a vacation of a different sort..
got to see new places.. and meet a whole bunch of new people.. got me thinking a lot.. of what we all have in common.. what's something that ties us..
maybe as usual it's the romantic in me talking.. but since i recently made a decision to put my heart on a shelf for a while, i hope this theory is wrong.

Theory of Substitutes (and the ultimate Need)

Someone once told me.. that the reason people date so much when they're young.. is not because they're actually in love, it's because they have a need inside them to "love"... and he just decided instead of pointing that need towards girls and ending up breaking up with them.. he'd just target it towards god... and use up all that energy there. that's his choice.
i believe that as much as we're selfish, i think god created us equally selfless... we are born with the desire and energy inside us to love and be loved. and lack of that drives us insane.

what is it that ties us all together? what is it that we all want even though not everyone can admit. i don't actually have a word for it. it's not just "love".. it's also the sense of acceptance by someone, affection.. understanding.. belonging. passion, approval. you know.. maybe even just that sense of touch.
if all those words and feelings could be jumbled up into the word "love" then ok, but i think it's more than that.. for the sake of argument.. i'll call it "the Need"
Adam and Eve were in heaven. It was just them.. in paradise.. they had no jobs, no pets, no friends, no family... just each other.. and that was it. and they were in paradise.

we are obviously now not in paradise, could i say that maybe since so many people have given up looking for their adams and eves, that they satisfay their Need with substitutes?

now to make this clearer.. the next situations i describe, try to imagine each situation... and fit it into an adequate partner for a person that would make their ideal mate. then you'll see what i see.

People lead a variety of lives.. but i think if we look close enough, everyone does or has something in their life that gives them a steady supply to the Need. and the ones that don't have it, are generally despressed and unhappy.
how do people get the Need? a lot of different ways.. cause there's a lot of different types. there are those who love their jobs.. and have such passion for it. meaning they wake up and can't WAIT to get to work. it's something they're good in.. something they might feel they connect to other people with, or something they might just feel more superior to others when performing..
There are others that love to share feelings with friends.. and their circle of friends are their whole lives.. connecting with them, sharing good times and bad times.. being there for each other, reaching out and helping them. Some people have pets.. so that they can have unconditional love.. and are able to dote on them and talk to them (mind you without having
them talk back) Other people party.. whatever kind of chemical or alcohol they take is to make them happy.. give them that warm fuzzy feeling you get when you're on cloud nine.
Some people concentrate on family. Mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters who make sure that whatever role they play in that family, they're proud of it and make it the essential part of their life.. family loyalty, pride and love. the sense of taking care of each other no matter what, and having nothing seperate you from one another no matter the consequences. Belonging. Others date.. wanting the touch of another person. the promises that comes with kisses and hugs, and the euphoria of someone's skin on the other.

these example may mix and match.. I'm sure there are more examples out there but i won't talk about them all.

All i'm trying to say here.. is that has all our lives really just become a series of substitutes? How many times have you heard people compare something in their daily lives to sex, a relationship, or a partner? "you nag like a wife" "it's like being married" "dude that was orgasmic"
this Need inside of us is so strong. I know tons of people who don't believe in love, and are probably thinking i'm off my rocker with this theory. But take a second and actually look at your life. I'm sure there's something in there you're doing that as a substitute. I'm not saying it's bad!
If you're good at your job.. great! that's wonderful! keep it up. We need you to keep the world spinning for us. Always be there for your friends. I could be one of them. Letting loose and partying is a necessity in life. PARTY ON!! Family is key, never turn your back on them. if you've pointed your energies towards god.. awesome, help me get on the righteous path with you, we'll chill in heaven together. If you're going for dating.. umm... always be SAFE.

All i wanna say with this theory, is that don't get SO comfy with your substitute. keep looking for your adam or eve. You wouldn't want your adam/eve to be so caught up and comfy with their substitutes that they gave up on finding you.. would you?
and seriously.. dont' ever mistake your substitute for the real thing. on a sad note... i'm sorry to say that this need might never be satisfied.. cause how will we ever know the real deal when it comes along?
just feel reassured that we all have this Need. and don't be so quick to judge people that are weakened because of it. remember that we're all in the same boat.

I'd also like to say.. that when speaking to your friends from now on... you should see them as your fellow junkies.

it is kinda like a drug.

we're all just junkies for the Need

Theory #8 - Theory of the Heart

2006-07-01T13:30:00.000+04:00

They say it's Aristotle's fault that valentines is covered with pictures of hearts. From what i understand it was him who pushed the idea that the heart is the center of the human's body. and it's the one that controls our emotions.
Most people would argue that it's the brain that's the central station for anything cognitive, like thinking, and emotions and all that. I had a discussion with my psychology teacher in college once over this very subject.
I KINDA have to agree with Aristotle on this one.

Theory of the Heart

Your brain is essential to you, all your memories are there, all your thoughts are there, maybe it's an exaggeration, but when you think too hard, it's your head that hurts right?
Biologically we know that anything that happens to us physically gets sent through our nerves up to our brain to tell us what's what. Call me a romantic, but i still think it's our heart that's doing the living for us.

I still say when i love someone i love with my heart, and not just cause it's the popular saying, because it IS my essence, and it's my heart and not my brain that knows someone and feels their presence.

First of all from the little research i've done, it's said that the heart is the part that is formed FIRST in embryological development. secondly, it's the heart that decides whether we're alive or dead. you could be brain dead but still be alive, true not MUCH of a life, but think of it the other way round, you can't be in cardiac arrest but still be "technically" alive.

it's your heart that starts beating faster when you have emotions. People who will disregard this theory are the ones are claim to be "thinkers" and not "feelers"
truth is.. i think we're all a bit of both.

Why is it your heart that pounds so hard when you're happy... and why is it your heart that feels like it's about to be ripped outta your body when you're sad?
i dunno about you guys but my HEART hurts when i'm sad, i feel like it has a life of it's own that i can't control... even if it's
psychological why can't i believe that my heart does my thinking? and just cause it's my heart doing the thinking, why does that make a person "emotional" and therefore "irrational"? if it's your heart that's doing your thinking and living for you and
keeping you alive from one beat to the next, why is it irrational to follow it and stay alive?
Why can't it be my heart that's carrying all the love? and all the memories and thoughts?
If you think about anything in your body, everything happens for a reason, actions, reflexes.. all that... what about the heart beat? what STARTS a heart beat when we're babies?

what slows it down and stops it when we're dead. i wanna say love.. and i'm not talking about loving your mate.. i'm talking about all kinds of love... a mother's love, family love, siblings, friends, children, and yes.. lovers. i don't think it's an exaggeration to say that you could die of lonileness or pain... thsoe arent' the ONLY ways of dying... but i'm just saying it could happen... when there's nothing to love.. what WILLS the heart to keep beating if we're not even sure what makes it
beat in the first place?

we all have souls..
it makes sense to believe that our soul lives in four chambers of the heart, not in our brains... and there's nothing irrational about me saying that.

Yafi, you'll be missed.

Theory #7 - Theory of Adaptation/Evolution

2006-05-22T12:49:00.000+04:00

With the world cup coming up and all.. i've started to NOTICE a few things.. i'm trying to be smart here and use scientific ideas, so if i happen to botch them and have the wrong idea.. please be gentle with me!! i'm a mere highschool teacher. lol.. i'm sure you'll get the idea anyways.
but i would very much appreciated your replies on this one to help me with my facts.

Theory of Adaptation/Evolution

I wanted to use the word evolve, but i believe the correct word is adaptation. i'm not sure...

There has always been a certain way that you see men. they are strong, brute, kings, and lords. women are fair maidens, shy, and sweet.

this ofcourse is the old way of thinking.. If we look around now we see that this isn't always true. but why?
One idea, could be that maybe in past, men grew tired of women not being able to understand the way they think, or wished that they shared a similar interest. not just be something pretty on their arm and entertainment in bed. Women might have had a similar experience. They might have grown tired of men just being used to lift heavy things and protection.

Some people maybe did not grow tired of this.. and enjoy the old type of man/woman.
but i would like to say that MOST people have changed what they want out of their partner. They might include some of the characteristics listed above as things they WANT, but the list has grown longer now. I also believe that the reason the list of demands have grown, is because maybe in the old days the ability to have a CHOICE in who we wanted to marry was not as common as recent times. So, people didnt' even have the option to be picky.... (arranged marraiges) I think that we as human have recognized that change in demand. We know that our genes affect our personality and characteristics. Is it possible that maybe some of our likes and dislikes is due to a gene we get from our mother/father ?

Girls recently have been going crazy over soccer, following all the games, the scores, and all that. Didn't soccer used to be a BOY'S game? Is it possible, that maybe girls have over time realized the need for men to bond with women on hobbies and likes, so the women have adapted to this change? Growing to like things that used to be mostly of mens' interest. Cars, cards, computers, soccer and other sports, etc.... It's survival of the fittest, isn't it? and dating is a jungle. so the species that survive, are the ones that have learnt to find a mate, and was able to reproduce. if the demand of the mate has changed over time, then it is the women who can accomodate for those changes that will continue.
She in turn, passes along those genes to her daughter. and men, to their sons. I'm not saying that girls who like boy stuff are doing it JUST to get a man. I'm saying that maybe that's how it all started.

Here's my crazy backup (i completely admit that i did not research this part and i am talking outta my ass for the CHANCE that it might be true)

why are most people along the equator darker than people in other areas? If we all originated from the same mother and father, how come we come in different colors and shapes?
people with dark skin, does every single person born get a tan after birth? or was it developed over time until it was something just found in the genes?

why can't this be the same thing?
the women that were able to snag a man with his new demands, were the ones that reproduced. and over time and again and again, it just became something natural to today's girls.

dont' get me wrong!! same goes for men!
more and more we are seeing Metrosexuals. Guys who have gay characteristics, but are straight. Women are looking for men who are "sensitive" and "vulnerable" and listen to their problems. these are the new needs of the women. so the men that end up surviving, and reproducing, are the ones that can accomodate for the majority need right now.

I'm not saying all women and men want what i have describes above. Some men still wants just an ornament on their arm and entertainment in bed. Some women still just want a brute that will take care of things, and protect her.

other people still want those things, but just have added more requirements along with it. this seems to be the growing trend at the moment.

lol.. are you the dying breed?? If you are please adapt soon, i'd like our grandkids to play together.

(i have a small theory, that we MIGHT be moving into a regression, that the trend has begun slowly to move backwards, with men wanting more femine girls, and girls want not-so-sensitive guys. But i think we need another decade or two to see if that's true)

Theory #6 - Theory of Multilingual-ness

2006-05-08T17:43:00.000+04:00

This theory is about the ability to speak more than one language. I'M calling it "multilingual-ness"... I realize it's not a real word. but i'd rather use it than use proper english :D Is there any advantage to speaking more than one language other than being able to communicate different people?
i think so :)

Theory of Multilingual-ness

Granted i believe in the back of my head i can come up with a couple of reasons why it's better to speak more than one language, maybe i'll talk about them later, but right now.. this is the first thing that comes to mind.

people who speak more than one language are more likely to be better kissers. (I SAID "MORE LIKELY", THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT SOMEONE WHO SPEAKS ONE LANGUAGE CAN'T BE AN AMAZING KISSER)
(This also means that just cause someone speaks more than one language, he/she might STILL suck at kissing)

that's that.
learning another language sometimes requires learning entirely new letters, letters you didnt' pronounce in your own language. Even if there aren't any new letters, the old ones you knew have to be pronounced differently. like in french, you have to curve your tongue a certain way to pronounce "L", and blah blah blah.

even with different dialects of the same language, not necessarily different languages, you're required to move your mouth and tongue in different ways.
the first thing people might argue with me is that when you kiss someone, your mouth isnt' moving in the same way it is when you're talking. ok, sometimes that's true.. but the idea behind my theory is that your tongue is CAPABLE of more.
think of it like if someone's having sex, how it's better if their body is REALLY flexible.

that's kiiiinda what i'm shooting at.
people always say that the better you dance the better you are in bed, and that certain cultures just DONT' know how to move their bodies, while others do...

so with languages it's kinda the same. Your tongue is getting exercise, learning to bend in ways it couldn't before. you're
becoming a linguist, which means you're mastering something with your tongue and lips. why can't that contribute to your kissing skills?
if you spoke the same bland letters all the time, your tongue MIGHT only know how to do those movements over and over. the more languages you learn, the more control you have over your tongue and lips and what to do with them.

i realize this theory is a bit far-fetched.

it's what i think anyways.

hhmm..... i should really start those spanish classes i wanted 0:)

Theory #5 - Theory of Goodbyes

2006-04-17T11:24:00.000+04:00

ok... i'm a bit down today.
So this theory is very sentimental.. and yes, corny..
if you're just in the mood to laugh at me, then don't bother reading it.

Theory of Goodbyes

Why are goodbyes so sad? i mean, technically it's just someone being at a distance from someone else.

I don't think you could possibly understand this unless you're the kind of person who travels a lot back and forth to see loved ones, family friends and so forth.

ok.. here's what i wanna talk about. the act of crying, when you're leaving, or someone's leaving. why do we do it?

yeah ok, cause it's sad.. i get it.. but it's not like we didn't KNOW we were gonna say goodbye. why didn't you cry earlier? why did the crying happen during that last moment, when you're saying goodbye? why do you suddenly get choked up and can't even say the words?

i like to think that when you're with someone in a country, your souls say hello to each other. kinda make a bond. hell, even if you're on the phone together or talking face to face, i like to think your souls are locked with each other exchanging info and stuff and feelings. what i imagine happening, is when you say goodbye, your souls are being yanked from each other. sounds corny i know.. but that's what i see in my head. and tears are just the product of that.

kinda like, when you cut something, you're technically just opening someone's skin and flesh, the result that comes out of it is blood. this is the same, your souls are being pulled harshly away from each other, and if you love each other, they're holding on tighter.. and when that's YANKED out, tears are the by product.

some people may argue that even though they love someone, that they don't cry when they say goodbye
ok, good for you. Everyone's different. Some people bleed more, some people bleed less. whatever. if you can control your emotions well enough, you might have the urge inside you to cry, but you don't actually cry.

also, especially with first goodbyes, our souls are like babies. When babies are young, they start screaming like crazy when you leave the room, cause they actually think that if they can't see you, that you're gone forever.
only later do they start understanding that just cause you can't see them, doesn't mean they're gone (that's why you should play pee-ka-boo with kids)

i think souls turn into babies when it comes to goodbyes.. the tears are there cause they think they'll never see each other again. but the more often you say bye over time, it gets used to it. and you understand more and more the fact that you WILL see the people you care about again.

some people get used to it more than others.

i hate goodbyes.

Theory #4 - Theory of Understanding the Sexes

2006-03-25T11:01:00.000+04:00

ok... this is TOTALLY not a new idea that i'm about to talk about. John Gray wrote his book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" i haven't actually read his book but i got the jist of it.. even flipped through it.

the only reason i mention him is so that no one thinks i came up with this idea all on my own.. i'm just using my own words and tweaking it a bit. but his main idea was that even though men and women use the same words and do the same things.. they mean COMPLETELY different things depending on which sex says or does it.

Theory of Understanding the Sexes

I think it should be understood that we are two completely different species. no if's about it. YES there are some exceptions.. and YES i cannot talk about every single person in this world. but i am talking about the majority here.. i'm sorry.. we can't fight it. we are the result of generations and generations of people who have built our society and our manners and we are the victims of that. so take what i have to say with an open mind. Each view point i give will be given in a language that each sex can understand. so when i use words like bitch or asshole.. it's subject to which sex-language i'm using.. ok? cause each word might mean something else in a different language (the sex's languages, yes.. male and female have different languages)

Understanding the opposite sex:

To the men (written in male-language):
Guys... here is the answer to everything you wanna know. Women are crazy.
Plain and simple. they are emotional, they lackreason in the actions they take.. i'm not bullshitting you. women are CRAZY.. we are all psycho. if you have a girl who blows things outta porportion, in her mind it will seem COMPLETELY logical.. so don't try to argue with her on that point.
if you really wanna know how to deal with women you have to understand that and not argue with their logic. accept it and work around it. i repeat.. do not try to UNDERSTAND why she does certain things or acts a certain way..
cause it will not make sense to you.. if it seems too crazy to be true.. i'm sorrry to say IT IS TRUE... dont' waste time thinking "she can't POSSIBLY be angry about THAT" cause whatever it is.. she is. I'm sorry ladies.. but we are.. Jack Nicholson said it best in his movie when the girl asked him "How do you write women so well?" and he said "I think of a man, and i take away reason and accountability"

To the women(written in female-language):
Ladies... men are asses
that's it. it's the same as with the men trying to understand women..
DON'T try to understand the man. men are emotional like us.. but men don't talk about it. that's just the way they are. if he seems cold and distant.. he IS that cold and distant. if you sit and think.. "nooo.. he can't be THAT mean".. oh no.. he IS.. don't question it. he just doesn't realize it cause our definition of "mean" is different than his.
It's just the way they are. if you wonder why he doesn't react to things like you, it's because they're programmed differently.Different things are seen as important to men, so their priorities are COMPLETELY different. deal with it. don't try to change the man... try to accept that this is what you're gonna get. Men have grown up with the idea that they can't be
emotional, that they have to be calm and collected all the time. so when he acts indifferent to you, don't take it personally, it's a biological thing.
he is NOT like you... if you think he thinks the same way as you but is just hiding it.. NOOO.. he is not. he is built differently. They know exactly what you want outta them.. and could conform to the way you think, but they won't.. simply because.. they are men.

*PLEASE NOTE THIS THEORY TALKS ABOUT THE MAJORITY OF THE SEXES.. BUT NOT ALL MALES AND FEMALES.. JUST, MAJORITY*

Theory #3 - Theory of Instincts

2006-03-03T01:20:00.000+04:00

this one isn't exactly gonna be uplifting...

sigh.. i know i'm gonna get a lot of people disagreeing with me on this one and arguing with me

so let me save you the effort.. this is MY opinion.. i'm just trying to help you, i'm not forcing this idea on you.

Theory of Instincts

In relationships, friends or boy/girl friends.. you always have to use your instincts. we live in world where there are so many liars out there.. fake people, frauds.. it's literally a jungle. fortunately god gave us our instincts, but unfortunately no one uses them enough.

If you feel you're being jerked around by someone, that someone's messing with you. they probably are. don't second guess yourself, you are.. and don't question the queasiness in your stomach or the weight on your chest. I'm not saying that the second you feel someone's lying or playing you that you act on it... instincts have been known to fuck up.. but in the course of the relationship, if the feeling continues, you're being taken for a schmuck. and that's a safe bet.

I'm not being harsh, truth is.. when someone's being honest with you, you never doubt them.. it's so clear and transparent in their actions and intentions. if someone is a jerk.. but is honest about it.. you can TELL.. which actually, some people like me don't mind.
the problem comes with friends, who start playing with you, who keep their true intentions hidden... and we keep giving them the benefit of the doubt, truth is.. we're idiots.
if your'e in a situation that everyone says that someone is playing you, but you don't feel it.. you don't have that queasiness.. have faith in your instincts. i'm not saying be blind, maybe investigate it further.. dont' just give up believing in that person.
but also, vice versa, girls, if you feel a guy is playing you, trying to manipulate you somehow.. he probably is. dont' listen to his iron clad excuses.. that's child's play to them. and boys, if a girl is driving you nuts, and you just can't figure her out and she's getting you confused, she's probably doing it on purpose. and wrapping you around her finger is easy for her.

there IS the rare occasion that it's just a misunderstanding.. if that's the case, then you can easily confront each other and
everything will easily be cleared up......but otherwise.. if you confront each other, and you're still left confused.. or being uneasy.. or just unconvinced.. then your'e being taken for a schmuck if your instincts are wrong, dont' worry.. nothing is forever.. if that friend or boy/girl friend really cares about you.. they'll fight to hang on to you. and that would be enough to remove your uneasiness...

honesty is so amazing.. is so clear.. crystal, i'm not exaggerating! when you hear it from someone.. you'll never doubt it. i know some people say that things could cloud your judgement.. but instinct is not in your brain. it's in your gut.. and THAT can't be clouded. (please dont' reply to me saying .. "your brain controls your gut.. blah blah blah"... stick with my metaphor)

it's a natural tendency to defend ourselves.. ... your body knows best.

i say.. follow your instincts... dont' be fools

Theory #2 - Theory of the Secret to Beauty

2006-02-13T14:26:00.000+04:00

All of you who know me know that i would never ever ever describe myself as beautiful, or even pretty. i'd say... "ok".. just not ugly. so how did i come upon this new theory of the secret to beauty? easy.. i looked at old photos of myself and realized that in those photos i was BEAUTIFUL. how could that be? that's not even possible! i look at recent photos and i still feel disgusted.. but some of the older ones are just.. WOW...
It's true.. i did not even recognize myself in my own pictures.. said it couldn't possibly be me. so here comes my theory.

Theory of the Secret to Beauty

Simply put... be happy and you'll be beautiful. this theory applies to girls and guys. i know it might not be as obvious with guys (frankly i don't even know if you guys would be comfortable with the word beautiful).. but it still applies.

You can't trick a pretty face. superficially, fine.. whatever... but no amount of hair gel, or certain haircut, or make up can compete with the beauty that comes out of true happiness. Please dont' misunderstand me, i'm not saying that you can't even look attractive unless you're happy. i'm just saying, that those people you see their pictures, or see them at a party or in a restaurant.. the ones that for some reason are GLOWING, are getting your attention.. those people are happy in the inside.
you might not even be able to tell about yourself if you look good or not, but looking on past photos might help give you a hint. look at times where you were really happy... not "denial" happy (for the people who were drunk in photos).. i'm talking soberly happy in that point in their lives. i bet you the pictures look great. i bet the smile shines and you look fabulous.
why? simple.
why do people some day look good and some days not? i've had mood swings were i'd dress like a diva and look good, and others where i look like a hobo. it's all about the mood i'm in.
I know people think that when they look at pictures of themselves "younger" they're bound to be better looking... but isn't it possible that the reason they looked better when they were younger is cause they had less problems and stress in their lives?

and to prove the make up is not the answer, i once wore NO makeup.. and yet almost everyone who met me smiled and complimented that i looked pretty that day. because THAT day, i was happy. a smile goes a long way guys.. and faking one doesn't count. i already talked about transperancy, and almost everyone can't fake a geniune smile... eyes don't lie. maybe appearing "beautiful" is not a concern of yours.. but just incase... find out what's making you unhappy in your lives.. and fix
it. you can't lie to your body.
stress and unhappiness makes your hair fall out, gives you pimples, rashes... so many things your body does to let you know "helloo!!!! something's wrong!! fix it!" so why is it a suprise to know that when you're actually happy, your body is healthy too?

if you're looking in the mirror right now, and you don't like what you see... if your face looks dead and your smile just isnt' real... fix it guys.

you're the only ones who can.. and THAT'S my theory to the secret of beauty :D

Theory #1 - Theory of Transperancy

2006-01-29T16:36:00.000+04:00

The Theory of Transperancy

I think everyone has a level of transperancy. You are EXACTLY the way you want people to see you, and how much of you you want seen. so for all the "victims of life" out there.. that feel their misunderstood, you'll be interested to read this. If you wanted to act perfectly to keep up pretences, you could. But sometimes you want someone to know you're lying, it's weird... it's like inviting someone to discover you. Every single person in the world has the capacity to be a PERFECT liar (or actor/actress). no joke. But half the time, nobody wants to be that secretive. You can be an open book, or closed. you might not notice it, but your subconcious is doing it. There is no person out there who's "figured" you out. That's bullshit. simply put,
you let them, or you wanted them to. you probably even lied deliberately, but just transparently enough for them to figure it out. That way you grow a bond, and they feel like they "understand" you..... it's kinda like giving them an emotional cookie. they get to feel all smart and intuitive. Yes.. YOU'VE ALL DONE IT, DON'T DENY IT. On the other hand if you have a friend or boyfriend/girlfriend that just doesn't get you, dont' get frustrated with them, it's because you don't want them to get you, it might be on a subconcious level, take the time to think about it. It can't possibly be their fault that they don't get you when you've set your transparency level to Zero.
Honest. We show people what we want. It's all a matter of transparency.

Have you noticed how transparent YOU CHOOSE to be with different people?
i have.