We've all heard it.
Guys and girls alike. We all know someone who clearly has commitment issues. But is that a necessarily a bad thing? I'm talking about commitment in many different things and especially in the person that you're dating or married to.
If you have a problem committing to a person, then you're not with the right person. You might not even realize it, but you're body is chemically rejecting the concept. At least that's what I think.
Most people would attribute having a commitment problems to psychological reasons, and although that may be the case, I don't think it's your brain that's the PROBLEM. I don't think your brain is wired wrong or anything. I think you're just protecting yourself.
The only reason you'd be freaking out about whatever position you're in at the moment is because you're imagining a better life without that person. If THAT'S the case, then you're definitely with the wrong person!
When you're with the right person, there IS no better situation than what you're in. You can't even imagine what life would be like without that person.
When you start thinking things like "this is the last person I'll ever be with in my life" or "i'll never kiss another person ever again".."I'll never have a first date again".. if you start getting knots in your stomach, or feel like there's a big stone sitting on your chest, then you have commitment issues.
Science tells us that our subconcious is constantly collecting information in the background of our brains that we don't necessarily pay attention to and we might not even remember, but our brain has it stored in there nonetheless. Could it be from the collective of that information, your brain is trying to send out a message to you but can't seem to put it words? Instead just puts it in a series of emotions.
It's healthy I believe to take risks every once in a while. To jump in with both feet and fall in love and try to commit, but if you're brain is sending a red light, you should atleast acknowledge that it's there. So SHOULD you fall flat on your face, you don't sit there and wonder why that happened. Take educated risks. Say "ok.. something tells me that this might not be a good idea, but it's worth it to give it a try".. sure.. why not. I'm into snowboarding, skydiving... doing extreme activities appeals to me. I don't mind breaking my heart, thankfully god made it capable of healing.
This applies to commitment to other things as well. Commitments to friends, jobs.. etc... If it's not fitting you just right, then maybe it's the wrong fit. Don't get coaxed into this illusion of normalcy that people try to throw on you. Do what your body is telling you to do.
But if you're the type that can't get back up after falling down, and people are telling you to get over your commitment issues, then you should maybe reconsider what step you're gonna do next. Although I believe we've all been created strong enough to withstand just about anything.
As stupid as this sounds... there is an exception to this theory. Kinda like me disproving my own theory, but oh well... Sometimes, we haven't lived enough to experience life. In this case, we have "fears". Having fears is NOT the same as commitment issues although it is usually mistaken for the same thing. Fears of the unknown and the body resorts to "flight" mode. In this case it's NOT always a good idea to follow that emotion, because after you experience this new something, whatever it is.. you might realize you were silly for fearing it to begin with. Sometimes you need to stay.
Distinguishing the two possibilities, whether it's fear from the unknown or just commitment issues can only be done by sharing your thoughts with other people. Letting other people help you find WHICH is it. Maybe people who have more life experience and can help you through it all.
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