Seeing as how i just wrote about kisses, i figure I'd follow it up right away with one about hugs.
Theory of Hugs
Who DOESN'T like hugs? i know there's a few people out there who don't enjoy hugs from anyone, but i wanna believe that everyone has at least one person they like to be hugged by. even if they're not the "hugging" type.
but what's so great about a hug? anyone can do it.. it's not sex, it's not kissing.. it's just a hug.
In my opinion, a hug, unlike the kiss, is a different kind of sharing. Kissing is sharing yourself with someone, talking to them, saying something.. giving them a part of you.
Hugging is just.. pure... giving.
it's warmth, it's unconditional, it's just a pure form of happy, positive energy. no matter which kind of hug it is.. even goodbye hugs are filled with love. you know the type i'm talking about, the kind you squeeze them so hard cause you're trying to squeeze SOMETHING outta them.. but what? In my opinion you're just shooting into them as much love as you can, for them to carry with them.. and the same goes when they hug you back.
I think it's amazing that god gives us all these simple little things that we can do that have such a strong effect. Lovers hugging each other, a friend comforting another through a hard time, someone chasing someone else's fears away with a hug.
Why is it we feel so warm and safe and happy in a hug?
You ever notice that when you're in a hug, it's like the whole world melted away? that hug fought all your fears away all the worries you have disappear for the slightest second and everything is warm and you believe everything's gonna be alright.
In my opinion, i think that hugs are the closest we can get to the feeling we had inside our mother's womb.
Let's take a step back for a minute and ask who is the closest human being to us? Considering that this is my "theories", we're just gonna follow my opinion when i say that the closest person to us should be our mothers.
We all have one, even Islam says just how highly we have to regard them, love and care for our mothers. they carried us after all in their wombs for 9 months, cared for us then, and even when we grew up, they love us unconditionally. But people say though it's because of the time we spent in the womb that we grow so attached to the mother. When you're a baby they say that you can identify your mother from the rhythm of her heart beat. it calms you cause it's what you're used to since the day you existed as a fetus.
There is also a certain position one might take when they're in a very distraught state of mind, looking for comfort.. it's called the fetal position, the one you take inside your mother's womb. There's even talks that you know a grown man is at his weakest, when he calls out for his mommy. why do i bring this up? to explain to you how that warmth inside the womb, and that bond created is SO strong and lasts with us our whole life.
could it be maybe, that when we hug people.. we're looking for that warmth?
Don't be stupid here, i'm not saying that when you hug your wife or husband you're wishing it was your mother. No...
what i'm saying is that when someone hugs you, you're feeling the safety and the warmth that you felt in your mother's belly. and THAT'S what makes a hug so strong and effective.
you ever notice how picky you are with who you choose to hug or not to? that's because i think subconsciously you KNOW how strong a hug is and what kind of bond it is, and your choice on where to use it is your own
mother's ofcourse will give their unconditional hugs and love to their children. We hug our friends and loved ones cause we have a strong bond with them and we want to give them love, without strings.. just a pure force of energy. other people, we'll be distant and give half-hearted hugs. that's still our choice. hugs, like kisses, are something that can't be faked. you can spot the duds a mile away.
I think god created us in the most beautiful way, and I'm glad he gave us these methods of sharing positive energy with one another, of making another human being's day so much better using something so simple. It's truly beautiful and a gift that we unfortunately also take for granted sometimes, and just don't understand.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Theory #15 - Theory of the Kiss
I'm pretty sure that in one episode of desperate housewives they kinda talked about this subject, ... but i just realized that after i started thinking about it these last couple of days.
it's about something so simple yet unrivaled when it comes to expressing emotions. I really don't think there's anything more powerful than a kiss.
Theory of the Kiss
Kisses are themselves a different language. They are THAT powerful that they don't need words. I'd like to think of the lips as the gateway to the person. When you kiss someone, on the lips you're forming a connection together. to combine yourselves to one another. you're trying to be whole. to share yourself.
What is it about a kiss?
Is it magic? Is there a touch of something heavenly from god that he personally puts at our disposal in our lips to share with other people? it has to be.. it's more powerful than anything i've ever seen. The amount of different emotions it stirs up, just by experiencing it, or seeing it is insane. it's everything, it's love, it's promises, it's lies too.. it's like the biggest proof someone could get to reassure their heart yet at the same time the biggest lie they might get in their life. I've seen people get weak in the knees and get dizzy from a kiss, i've seen people travel far distances just for a kiss, and i've seen people's hearts break.. just from a kiss..
And i'm talking about all kisses, there's something so personal and forceful about a kiss i really don't think it's that easy to deny. Yes sometimes a kiss might be meaningless, if you're not receiving it completely, like when someone kisses you on a cheek. But even the cheek kiss means something. some of the sweetest most meaningful kisses are the innocent ones on the cheek, forehead, or hand even. like a cute baby that you can't help but kiss repeatedly on the cheek. why? is it just cause those cheeks are just so yummy? or cause you can't help but smother that person with your love. that's what you're doing with your mouth, you're trying to share yourself with them.
People will have sex and still not be emotionally connected if they don't kiss. There is a BIG difference when you're intimate with someone and kiss them, and when you don't. It tells a lot of how much of yourself you're sharing. it tells just how much of yourself you're willing to give to them.
you can tell SO much from a kiss. it's true, kisses don't lie. EVER. unless you want them to lie..
fake kisses are easy to spot. you CANNOT fake the emotions in a kiss, unless the person you're kissing is that easily tricked. which in most cases there are. sometimes people just want to be kissed, they want to be lied to..
yes the kiss is THAT powerful that even though when it's a sham, it's still strong enough to do the job. to fullfill that longing someone might have inside them. it's still forceful enough that the recipient wouldn't care whether it's a lie or not.
Goodbye kisses are the worst. Heart wrenching even. all the sadness in the world could fit into that kiss.. where words aren't necessary, you could just hear it saying "i don't want to be away from you, stay, don't go, you're breaking my heart, don't do this... i'll love you forever"... that kiss itself could break your heart into billions of pieces.
The kisses among friends are sweet, and innocent..i'm not talking about those day to day "hi bye" kisses.. i'm talking about like when you're best friend is so sad and thinks the whole world hates them, and you place a very delicate kiss on their cheek. that means a lot. you might not think it doesn't. but it does. even the ones you give for example after seeing them after so long... the kiss in itself says just how much you missed them.
Then there's the "falling in love" kisses... where every moment is enjoyed.. every motion of the lips.....whether on the lips or any other part of the body. you're lips start talking this other language where they express to the other person's lips and skin just HOW much they love you and adore you. you could close your eyes and practically hear these make believe voices say "i love you, you're precious to me, you're my everything"... that's the language of kissing. kissing is an action that goes back and forth. just like speech. and how your lips respond to one another, that could be like talking.. right?
or the passionate kisses.. the ones so filled with hunger your lips won't have TIME to actually talk.. but again, close your eyes and listen and you'll hear it.. "i want you.. i need you.. i have to have you... NOW" The force especially in this kind of kiss is definitely unrivaled by any other form of expression, even words. there's so many other kisses, the "i'm sorry" kisses, "i love you forever", "i forgive you", "reassuring" kisses or even "motherly love"... .. why else do mothers kiss your booboo when you get hurt? isn't it in some kind of belief that a kiss has as little magic in it? that'll make it better? that's what a mother does right, she gives her love to take care of her children.
people today take kisses too lightly. degrading their value even. kisses are one of the most powerful tools that god has given us and other than abusing it, we've taken it for granted. you can tell anyone almost anything by kissing them...
believe me your lips will still be doing the talking, just not the way you think. next time someone kisses you, or you kiss them, no matter what kind of kiss it is.. partner, family or friend... listen closely and i PROMISE you you'll hear exactly what they're trying to tell you.
go share yourself with someone... right now, tell them something that you don't wanna say using words
it's about something so simple yet unrivaled when it comes to expressing emotions. I really don't think there's anything more powerful than a kiss.
Theory of the Kiss
Kisses are themselves a different language. They are THAT powerful that they don't need words. I'd like to think of the lips as the gateway to the person. When you kiss someone, on the lips you're forming a connection together. to combine yourselves to one another. you're trying to be whole. to share yourself.
What is it about a kiss?
Is it magic? Is there a touch of something heavenly from god that he personally puts at our disposal in our lips to share with other people? it has to be.. it's more powerful than anything i've ever seen. The amount of different emotions it stirs up, just by experiencing it, or seeing it is insane. it's everything, it's love, it's promises, it's lies too.. it's like the biggest proof someone could get to reassure their heart yet at the same time the biggest lie they might get in their life. I've seen people get weak in the knees and get dizzy from a kiss, i've seen people travel far distances just for a kiss, and i've seen people's hearts break.. just from a kiss..
And i'm talking about all kisses, there's something so personal and forceful about a kiss i really don't think it's that easy to deny. Yes sometimes a kiss might be meaningless, if you're not receiving it completely, like when someone kisses you on a cheek. But even the cheek kiss means something. some of the sweetest most meaningful kisses are the innocent ones on the cheek, forehead, or hand even. like a cute baby that you can't help but kiss repeatedly on the cheek. why? is it just cause those cheeks are just so yummy? or cause you can't help but smother that person with your love. that's what you're doing with your mouth, you're trying to share yourself with them.
People will have sex and still not be emotionally connected if they don't kiss. There is a BIG difference when you're intimate with someone and kiss them, and when you don't. It tells a lot of how much of yourself you're sharing. it tells just how much of yourself you're willing to give to them.
you can tell SO much from a kiss. it's true, kisses don't lie. EVER. unless you want them to lie..
fake kisses are easy to spot. you CANNOT fake the emotions in a kiss, unless the person you're kissing is that easily tricked. which in most cases there are. sometimes people just want to be kissed, they want to be lied to..
yes the kiss is THAT powerful that even though when it's a sham, it's still strong enough to do the job. to fullfill that longing someone might have inside them. it's still forceful enough that the recipient wouldn't care whether it's a lie or not.
Goodbye kisses are the worst. Heart wrenching even. all the sadness in the world could fit into that kiss.. where words aren't necessary, you could just hear it saying "i don't want to be away from you, stay, don't go, you're breaking my heart, don't do this... i'll love you forever"... that kiss itself could break your heart into billions of pieces.
The kisses among friends are sweet, and innocent..i'm not talking about those day to day "hi bye" kisses.. i'm talking about like when you're best friend is so sad and thinks the whole world hates them, and you place a very delicate kiss on their cheek. that means a lot. you might not think it doesn't. but it does. even the ones you give for example after seeing them after so long... the kiss in itself says just how much you missed them.
Then there's the "falling in love" kisses... where every moment is enjoyed.. every motion of the lips.....whether on the lips or any other part of the body. you're lips start talking this other language where they express to the other person's lips and skin just HOW much they love you and adore you. you could close your eyes and practically hear these make believe voices say "i love you, you're precious to me, you're my everything"... that's the language of kissing. kissing is an action that goes back and forth. just like speech. and how your lips respond to one another, that could be like talking.. right?
or the passionate kisses.. the ones so filled with hunger your lips won't have TIME to actually talk.. but again, close your eyes and listen and you'll hear it.. "i want you.. i need you.. i have to have you... NOW" The force especially in this kind of kiss is definitely unrivaled by any other form of expression, even words. there's so many other kisses, the "i'm sorry" kisses, "i love you forever", "i forgive you", "reassuring" kisses or even "motherly love"... .. why else do mothers kiss your booboo when you get hurt? isn't it in some kind of belief that a kiss has as little magic in it? that'll make it better? that's what a mother does right, she gives her love to take care of her children.
people today take kisses too lightly. degrading their value even. kisses are one of the most powerful tools that god has given us and other than abusing it, we've taken it for granted. you can tell anyone almost anything by kissing them...
believe me your lips will still be doing the talking, just not the way you think. next time someone kisses you, or you kiss them, no matter what kind of kiss it is.. partner, family or friend... listen closely and i PROMISE you you'll hear exactly what they're trying to tell you.
go share yourself with someone... right now, tell them something that you don't wanna say using words
Monday, December 4, 2006
Theory #14 - Theory of Dance
I've heard many times people compare the way people dance, to the way they are in bed. I thought that was interesting enough for me to take a further look in to it and actually THINK about it. this is what i came up with.
I probably need to think about this more to get this theory completely clear, but i hope i didn't confuse anyone. it's a bit messy.
Theory of Dance
The way you are when you dance is how you are in life... with your partner or potential partner especially. Now i'm not restricting this simply to the bedroom, although that is part of it, but i also mean in your demeanor. The real you. The part of you that usually no one sees or knows about except your partner.
If you could just for a moment imagine music as a person. Let's USE our imaginations here.
couldn't it maybe kinda be possible that different types of music also reflects different personalities? and brings it out in you?
We all like different kinds of music, some more than others. And our body moves to that music accordingly. Go to any club or dance and see the different ways people are dancing to the same song. some are confident and sexy, others are timid and shy, some are just awkward and keep looking around to who's looking. other's are just in their own world, some like to do a group thing and do what everyone else is doing.
If your partner was Rock music, how you react to it, how your body is.. not necessarily how WELL you dance, but how much you really enjoy the music is who you REALLY are. the way you take in the music and let it control you is in my opinion linked to you psychologically and how you react with someone.
Same with all other types of music. I think dance is truly the time of self-expression, and everyone expresses it better in different ways. some with rock, some with rnb, some with house music. sometimes you'll be stiff, sometimes you'll have your hands up in the air not giving a shit what anyone is looking at. My theory is basically that that person your turn into when you dance, is what you're like in your most PERSONAL level with your partner.
That's the REAL you.
whether you're fun, or conservative, or serious, or very professional, or sexy, or hip with the latest moves.. ... that's the true essence of YOU.
I dont' wanna exaggerate but if i had to take a stab at it.. it would be something like..
if you were very professional while you dance, means you take something seriously, and wanna do it right.
when you dance:
if you're conservative.. means you wanna have fun, but not TOO much.
If you're serious when you dance.. that probably means you have a no nonsense attitude about a lot of things in life too.
If you're sexy... that means you have a very physical attitude in life.
if you're hip, that means you're always into the latest and in tune with the NOW.
if you're fun, that means you don't care about anyone's opinion and you wanna make the most outta life.
if you're in your own world, you probably are the kind of person that looks for someone that makes them feel like they're escaping reality.
if you're eyes are always on your dance partner, you're very into pleasing or making contact with a partner
If you're self-concious when you dance, well.. that's kinda obvious. Insecure.
If you simply DON'T dance, you probably don't take too many risks in your life, or rather you choose not to INDULGE yourself in life or getting too personal.
then again, this is my opinion.
some people are a combination, and to different musics. different music brings out different parts in people.. just like other people do... for example the company you keep, and the part of your personality that comes out when with different people.
yes i have to go back to the fact about how you'd be in bed. A lot of what goes on in the bedroom is how your body responds to the other person, and how they respond to you. Kinda like how you respond to certain music and beats and how receptive you are. Music goes in to you, takes over you.. and your body responds...like someone could. so yes, in THIS case, i woudl say the better dancer you are, no matter what kind of song, as long as you get someone who matches you, you'll
be great together in bed.
I bet you'll be looking quite differently at people in the club now huh?
I probably need to think about this more to get this theory completely clear, but i hope i didn't confuse anyone. it's a bit messy.
Theory of Dance
The way you are when you dance is how you are in life... with your partner or potential partner especially. Now i'm not restricting this simply to the bedroom, although that is part of it, but i also mean in your demeanor. The real you. The part of you that usually no one sees or knows about except your partner.
If you could just for a moment imagine music as a person. Let's USE our imaginations here.
couldn't it maybe kinda be possible that different types of music also reflects different personalities? and brings it out in you?
We all like different kinds of music, some more than others. And our body moves to that music accordingly. Go to any club or dance and see the different ways people are dancing to the same song. some are confident and sexy, others are timid and shy, some are just awkward and keep looking around to who's looking. other's are just in their own world, some like to do a group thing and do what everyone else is doing.
If your partner was Rock music, how you react to it, how your body is.. not necessarily how WELL you dance, but how much you really enjoy the music is who you REALLY are. the way you take in the music and let it control you is in my opinion linked to you psychologically and how you react with someone.
Same with all other types of music. I think dance is truly the time of self-expression, and everyone expresses it better in different ways. some with rock, some with rnb, some with house music. sometimes you'll be stiff, sometimes you'll have your hands up in the air not giving a shit what anyone is looking at. My theory is basically that that person your turn into when you dance, is what you're like in your most PERSONAL level with your partner.
That's the REAL you.
whether you're fun, or conservative, or serious, or very professional, or sexy, or hip with the latest moves.. ... that's the true essence of YOU.
I dont' wanna exaggerate but if i had to take a stab at it.. it would be something like..
if you were very professional while you dance, means you take something seriously, and wanna do it right.
when you dance:
if you're conservative.. means you wanna have fun, but not TOO much.
If you're serious when you dance.. that probably means you have a no nonsense attitude about a lot of things in life too.
If you're sexy... that means you have a very physical attitude in life.
if you're hip, that means you're always into the latest and in tune with the NOW.
if you're fun, that means you don't care about anyone's opinion and you wanna make the most outta life.
if you're in your own world, you probably are the kind of person that looks for someone that makes them feel like they're escaping reality.
if you're eyes are always on your dance partner, you're very into pleasing or making contact with a partner
If you're self-concious when you dance, well.. that's kinda obvious. Insecure.
If you simply DON'T dance, you probably don't take too many risks in your life, or rather you choose not to INDULGE yourself in life or getting too personal.
then again, this is my opinion.
some people are a combination, and to different musics. different music brings out different parts in people.. just like other people do... for example the company you keep, and the part of your personality that comes out when with different people.
yes i have to go back to the fact about how you'd be in bed. A lot of what goes on in the bedroom is how your body responds to the other person, and how they respond to you. Kinda like how you respond to certain music and beats and how receptive you are. Music goes in to you, takes over you.. and your body responds...like someone could. so yes, in THIS case, i woudl say the better dancer you are, no matter what kind of song, as long as you get someone who matches you, you'll
be great together in bed.
I bet you'll be looking quite differently at people in the club now huh?
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Theory #13 - Theory of the Big House
With the technological era that we're living in, it's only adequate i write a technologically influenced theory.
Theory of the Big House
Long LONG ago.. when a friend moved away, we're all in tears and crying cause we're gonna miss that person so much and we're not gonna hear from them.. oh the pain, oh the pain.
granted there are still a lot of tearful goodbyes at the airport, the amount has reduced significantly simply because of our lifestyle now. the world has become tiny. We have e-mails, msn chat, phone calls from each other's mobiles, sms'ing and video and audio calls online.
Now i actually think that this is great, that we're all staying connected, but i think it's having another unanticipated side to it as well.
How many times have you gone online or called a friend and actually had a nice looong conversation, catching up and all?
it doesn't really happen anymore. yeah from time to time you write to someone about what's going on in your life. but it's always a random message on msn, a text message, a short phone call.. something of that sort.
It's kinda like, we're all living in this big house together.. a.k.a. THE WORLD. when you're living with someone in the same house you don't greet them EVERY time with a big hello and a hug and start catching up on everything.. you say hi maybe, sometime you don't.. you say what's up, what's new... but very casually.
everyone's just emotionally "away" like our status online. we're THERE.. we're just not really there. sure we're connected, but because it's so casual and easy now we don't really make a big deal anymore when we do talk to each other.
we hardly ever have long or meaningful conversations with people anymore. or rather we dont' appreciate each other's company AS MUCH anymore i think.. when it comes to long distance. we can feel each other around.. i just have to look at msn and see the list of people that are "away" and i feel like they're my roommates all in their respective rooms. .. but am i gonna go EACH time and say "hi! i miss you! long time!" to each person? no.. not really..
kinda like when you live with people.. they're there when you need them.. but no need to make an event out of everytime you talk to them.
this wasn't possible before when people were out of town, but that's what it's come to.
This isn't necessarily a bad thing, all of us living under one roof.. but don't you miss every once in a while those conversations of catching up?
you dont' really get much of a chance to miss someone, cause the minute you do you can call them on their mobile phone to see how they are, or just sms them telling them about something funny you saw that day. which was not possible before.
I just think we need to be careful when living in this big house, I think soon we'll be walking around with shirts that say "away" cause we're so used to interacting with people in that manner. where everyone's available when i need them, it's no trouble really FINDING them.
Just try to remember to spend some time with your roommates from time to time.
Theory of the Big House
Long LONG ago.. when a friend moved away, we're all in tears and crying cause we're gonna miss that person so much and we're not gonna hear from them.. oh the pain, oh the pain.
granted there are still a lot of tearful goodbyes at the airport, the amount has reduced significantly simply because of our lifestyle now. the world has become tiny. We have e-mails, msn chat, phone calls from each other's mobiles, sms'ing and video and audio calls online.
Now i actually think that this is great, that we're all staying connected, but i think it's having another unanticipated side to it as well.
How many times have you gone online or called a friend and actually had a nice looong conversation, catching up and all?
it doesn't really happen anymore. yeah from time to time you write to someone about what's going on in your life. but it's always a random message on msn, a text message, a short phone call.. something of that sort.
It's kinda like, we're all living in this big house together.. a.k.a. THE WORLD. when you're living with someone in the same house you don't greet them EVERY time with a big hello and a hug and start catching up on everything.. you say hi maybe, sometime you don't.. you say what's up, what's new... but very casually.
everyone's just emotionally "away" like our status online. we're THERE.. we're just not really there. sure we're connected, but because it's so casual and easy now we don't really make a big deal anymore when we do talk to each other.
we hardly ever have long or meaningful conversations with people anymore. or rather we dont' appreciate each other's company AS MUCH anymore i think.. when it comes to long distance. we can feel each other around.. i just have to look at msn and see the list of people that are "away" and i feel like they're my roommates all in their respective rooms. .. but am i gonna go EACH time and say "hi! i miss you! long time!" to each person? no.. not really..
kinda like when you live with people.. they're there when you need them.. but no need to make an event out of everytime you talk to them.
this wasn't possible before when people were out of town, but that's what it's come to.
This isn't necessarily a bad thing, all of us living under one roof.. but don't you miss every once in a while those conversations of catching up?
you dont' really get much of a chance to miss someone, cause the minute you do you can call them on their mobile phone to see how they are, or just sms them telling them about something funny you saw that day. which was not possible before.
I just think we need to be careful when living in this big house, I think soon we'll be walking around with shirts that say "away" cause we're so used to interacting with people in that manner. where everyone's available when i need them, it's no trouble really FINDING them.
Just try to remember to spend some time with your roommates from time to time.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Theory #12 - Theory of Comforted Depression
You ever notice how A LOT of people are depressed?
If being depressed is such a horrible state, why are so many people in it?
Theory of Comforted Depression
Simply put, because we're humans, and we care... we're always gonna try to be there for one another.
Comfort each other in times of need... the problem that comes here is that people exploit this weakness in us humans to the max. Maybe they're not doing it on purpose.. but they DO do it.
If someone is going through a rough phase, they'll receive warm words, reassuring hugs and a lot of love from people around them. we call this "being supportive" Technically it's correct... Depressed people do need a lot and a lot of support. BUT.. .what REALLY is depression nowadays? just when you're sad? when's the depression over? yet the friends and family still give support. So, the "depressed" person will get warm hugs, boosts of confidence, love, have people try to boost their ego.... all these things.. because they're loved ones want them to feel better. But if they're receiving all these goodies, who WOULDN'T want to be depressed? Having unlimited access of kindness, sympathy and plain old HUGS could get any person into the depression Con game.
I'm not saying they're deliberately setting out to pretend to be depressed, but sometimes they might milk it for all it's worth because they're so hooked on the attention it brings.
Basically i'm saying the reason so many people are depressed, is because whether we like it or not, we've made it kinda comfortable.
So this theory is for all the people offering "support". you're in a tight situation. you need to be supportive, and you can't really put a time limit or measure on depression, but be careful and make sure that your friend/family is not just hooked on your goodies, cause then you'll have to remind them that depression isn't supposed to be pleasant.
If being depressed is such a horrible state, why are so many people in it?
Theory of Comforted Depression
Simply put, because we're humans, and we care... we're always gonna try to be there for one another.
Comfort each other in times of need... the problem that comes here is that people exploit this weakness in us humans to the max. Maybe they're not doing it on purpose.. but they DO do it.
If someone is going through a rough phase, they'll receive warm words, reassuring hugs and a lot of love from people around them. we call this "being supportive" Technically it's correct... Depressed people do need a lot and a lot of support. BUT.. .what REALLY is depression nowadays? just when you're sad? when's the depression over? yet the friends and family still give support. So, the "depressed" person will get warm hugs, boosts of confidence, love, have people try to boost their ego.... all these things.. because they're loved ones want them to feel better. But if they're receiving all these goodies, who WOULDN'T want to be depressed? Having unlimited access of kindness, sympathy and plain old HUGS could get any person into the depression Con game.
I'm not saying they're deliberately setting out to pretend to be depressed, but sometimes they might milk it for all it's worth because they're so hooked on the attention it brings.
Basically i'm saying the reason so many people are depressed, is because whether we like it or not, we've made it kinda comfortable.
So this theory is for all the people offering "support". you're in a tight situation. you need to be supportive, and you can't really put a time limit or measure on depression, but be careful and make sure that your friend/family is not just hooked on your goodies, cause then you'll have to remind them that depression isn't supposed to be pleasant.
Sunday, October 8, 2006
Theory #11 - Theory of Inside/Outside
Here's a theory to help people understand other people.. and not expect too much or too little from them
Theory of Inside/Outside
I've come to the conclusion.. that people who are soft on the inside are hard on the outside and vice versa.
What i mean is.. if you find a guy or girl.. who look like they're SOO sensitive.. and cry or whine about every little thing.. believe it or not, i think those are the people that can survive emotionally in any situation life can dish out at them.
and the people who seem to be rock solid and don't even flinch when something comes their way.. they are WAAAAAY more sensitive than other people.
For people who are soft on the outside, it's always misconceived that these people are "weak". did it ever occur to anyone, that maybe the fact that they're always appear sensitive is because they express their emotions? everyone knows when you dont' express emotions it'll build up inside you and eventually you'll crack. so isn't it healthy for the people who are in touch with their emotions that the express them?
i'm not talking about the overly sensitive people that'll cry if someone gives them a bad name or something.. just.. people who get hurt quickly.. those guys.. i think they're more in tuned with their emotions, i dont' think it means they're "weak". infact.. BECAUSE they deal with their emotions, when a big bomb is dropped on them that's supposed to leave them in an emotional coma, they actually get outta there standing just fine.
as for the rock shelled people on the outside. we percieve them as so TOUGH and we dish out whatever meanness we have on them cause we think they can take it, but it must have occured to everyone that self-preservation is key. and that person probably knows how weak they are on the inside, so they build this HUGE tough shell.. to preserve themself. they probably work so hard on building that wall that they just never get around to hardening the insides a bit and in turn, psychologically make themselves even weaker and weaker by just working on the outside shell.
I could be wrong with this theory as well.. it could just be that when we see someone soft on the outside for example, and see how strong they turn out to be, we get shocked cause we didn't imagine it possible.
same as with tough people on the outside, the minute we see them a bit weak, we see the difference and think "oh my god.. i never knew they were so weak!"
so.. yeah.. i fully admit that i could be wrong about this.. but i'm putting this theory out there.
I also have to add that most people are nice mediums.. this is an OR situation. where you HAVE to be one or the other.. you could be a nice balance... and that's good for you :)
Theory of Inside/Outside
I've come to the conclusion.. that people who are soft on the inside are hard on the outside and vice versa.
What i mean is.. if you find a guy or girl.. who look like they're SOO sensitive.. and cry or whine about every little thing.. believe it or not, i think those are the people that can survive emotionally in any situation life can dish out at them.
and the people who seem to be rock solid and don't even flinch when something comes their way.. they are WAAAAAY more sensitive than other people.
For people who are soft on the outside, it's always misconceived that these people are "weak". did it ever occur to anyone, that maybe the fact that they're always appear sensitive is because they express their emotions? everyone knows when you dont' express emotions it'll build up inside you and eventually you'll crack. so isn't it healthy for the people who are in touch with their emotions that the express them?
i'm not talking about the overly sensitive people that'll cry if someone gives them a bad name or something.. just.. people who get hurt quickly.. those guys.. i think they're more in tuned with their emotions, i dont' think it means they're "weak". infact.. BECAUSE they deal with their emotions, when a big bomb is dropped on them that's supposed to leave them in an emotional coma, they actually get outta there standing just fine.
as for the rock shelled people on the outside. we percieve them as so TOUGH and we dish out whatever meanness we have on them cause we think they can take it, but it must have occured to everyone that self-preservation is key. and that person probably knows how weak they are on the inside, so they build this HUGE tough shell.. to preserve themself. they probably work so hard on building that wall that they just never get around to hardening the insides a bit and in turn, psychologically make themselves even weaker and weaker by just working on the outside shell.
I could be wrong with this theory as well.. it could just be that when we see someone soft on the outside for example, and see how strong they turn out to be, we get shocked cause we didn't imagine it possible.
same as with tough people on the outside, the minute we see them a bit weak, we see the difference and think "oh my god.. i never knew they were so weak!"
so.. yeah.. i fully admit that i could be wrong about this.. but i'm putting this theory out there.
I also have to add that most people are nice mediums.. this is an OR situation. where you HAVE to be one or the other.. you could be a nice balance... and that's good for you :)
Friday, September 1, 2006
Theory #10 - Theory of Angels
Each time i write these theories i can see i'm going further and further away from logic, and i can just HEAR the screaming replies trying to drill facts into my head.
lol.. i just can't help it though.
For all the angels out there..
Theory of Angels
Angels are all around us.. and most of us are too blind or ignorant to notice.
I started by getting definitions of "Angel" from casual resources and official ones. Generally they wear white robes, halos, wings.. inner light..
what i loved the most is that the actual definition of the word angel is not defined as the same thing everywhere you look. it can be the actual angels that god created, which even the description there isn't always definite.. always something to do with being loving, beautiful, kind, caring..
but you've heard the word "angel" associated with innocence and virtue, or as a messenger from god for good. I even remember reading an aaya in the quran that says god put angels on earth in human form. I wish i could remember which one to back me up, but you're just gonna have to trust me. many people i've realized though have very HIGH expectations of people they call angels. like they're supposed to be "perfect" to be called angels. i disagree with that idea.
if everyone can have a little devil and a little angel in them.. then why can't EVERYONE be an angel? we dont' have to be COMPLETELY pure and innocent to qualify for a halo. you could aspire to have angelic QUALITIES.. kindness, mercy, forgiveness, innocence, virtue, beauty, sincerity, honesty, generosity, understanding, love.. etc..
you dont' have to have ALL those qualities.. but even if you have ONE of those qualities... you're an Angel in my book.. in this world we live in that people lack so many of these qualities, it's a miracle if you have even one of them.
so why not? angels dont' have to be those white-dressed people or spirits created from god.
You are probably an Angel. accept that fact, embrace it. dont' get cocky or full of yourself.. but i'm sure to someone, you are an angel, and the world is a better place with you around. any one of you can be an angel.. appreciate those people around you too, the angels you have around you... they really are a blessing. and as corny as this sounds, the more angels we have around.. the more this world is gonna start looking like heaven.
as for the little devils in us... i'll leave that for another theory :)
lol.. i just can't help it though.
For all the angels out there..
Theory of Angels
Angels are all around us.. and most of us are too blind or ignorant to notice.
I started by getting definitions of "Angel" from casual resources and official ones. Generally they wear white robes, halos, wings.. inner light..
what i loved the most is that the actual definition of the word angel is not defined as the same thing everywhere you look. it can be the actual angels that god created, which even the description there isn't always definite.. always something to do with being loving, beautiful, kind, caring..
but you've heard the word "angel" associated with innocence and virtue, or as a messenger from god for good. I even remember reading an aaya in the quran that says god put angels on earth in human form. I wish i could remember which one to back me up, but you're just gonna have to trust me. many people i've realized though have very HIGH expectations of people they call angels. like they're supposed to be "perfect" to be called angels. i disagree with that idea.
if everyone can have a little devil and a little angel in them.. then why can't EVERYONE be an angel? we dont' have to be COMPLETELY pure and innocent to qualify for a halo. you could aspire to have angelic QUALITIES.. kindness, mercy, forgiveness, innocence, virtue, beauty, sincerity, honesty, generosity, understanding, love.. etc..
you dont' have to have ALL those qualities.. but even if you have ONE of those qualities... you're an Angel in my book.. in this world we live in that people lack so many of these qualities, it's a miracle if you have even one of them.
so why not? angels dont' have to be those white-dressed people or spirits created from god.
You are probably an Angel. accept that fact, embrace it. dont' get cocky or full of yourself.. but i'm sure to someone, you are an angel, and the world is a better place with you around. any one of you can be an angel.. appreciate those people around you too, the angels you have around you... they really are a blessing. and as corny as this sounds, the more angels we have around.. the more this world is gonna start looking like heaven.
as for the little devils in us... i'll leave that for another theory :)
Monday, July 31, 2006
Theory #9 - Theory of Substitutes (and the ultimate Need)
(sorry it's a long one)
i'm on a vacation of a different sort..
got to see new places.. and meet a whole bunch of new people.. got me thinking a lot.. of what we all have in common.. what's something that ties us..
maybe as usual it's the romantic in me talking.. but since i recently made a decision to put my heart on a shelf for a while, i hope this theory is wrong.
Theory of Substitutes (and the ultimate Need)
Someone once told me.. that the reason people date so much when they're young.. is not because they're actually in love, it's because they have a need inside them to "love"... and he just decided instead of pointing that need towards girls and ending up breaking up with them.. he'd just target it towards god... and use up all that energy there. that's his choice.
i believe that as much as we're selfish, i think god created us equally selfless... we are born with the desire and energy inside us to love and be loved. and lack of that drives us insane.
what is it that ties us all together? what is it that we all want even though not everyone can admit. i don't actually have a word for it. it's not just "love".. it's also the sense of acceptance by someone, affection.. understanding.. belonging. passion, approval. you know.. maybe even just that sense of touch.
if all those words and feelings could be jumbled up into the word "love" then ok, but i think it's more than that.. for the sake of argument.. i'll call it "the Need"
Adam and Eve were in heaven. It was just them.. in paradise.. they had no jobs, no pets, no friends, no family... just each other.. and that was it. and they were in paradise.
we are obviously now not in paradise, could i say that maybe since so many people have given up looking for their adams and eves, that they satisfay their Need with substitutes?
now to make this clearer.. the next situations i describe, try to imagine each situation... and fit it into an adequate partner for a person that would make their ideal mate. then you'll see what i see.
People lead a variety of lives.. but i think if we look close enough, everyone does or has something in their life that gives them a steady supply to the Need. and the ones that don't have it, are generally despressed and unhappy.
how do people get the Need? a lot of different ways.. cause there's a lot of different types. there are those who love their jobs.. and have such passion for it. meaning they wake up and can't WAIT to get to work. it's something they're good in.. something they might feel they connect to other people with, or something they might just feel more superior to others when performing..
There are others that love to share feelings with friends.. and their circle of friends are their whole lives.. connecting with them, sharing good times and bad times.. being there for each other, reaching out and helping them. Some people have pets.. so that they can have unconditional love.. and are able to dote on them and talk to them (mind you without having
them talk back) Other people party.. whatever kind of chemical or alcohol they take is to make them happy.. give them that warm fuzzy feeling you get when you're on cloud nine.
Some people concentrate on family. Mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters who make sure that whatever role they play in that family, they're proud of it and make it the essential part of their life.. family loyalty, pride and love. the sense of taking care of each other no matter what, and having nothing seperate you from one another no matter the consequences. Belonging. Others date.. wanting the touch of another person. the promises that comes with kisses and hugs, and the euphoria of someone's skin on the other.
these example may mix and match.. I'm sure there are more examples out there but i won't talk about them all.
All i'm trying to say here.. is that has all our lives really just become a series of substitutes? How many times have you heard people compare something in their daily lives to sex, a relationship, or a partner? "you nag like a wife" "it's like being married" "dude that was orgasmic"
this Need inside of us is so strong. I know tons of people who don't believe in love, and are probably thinking i'm off my rocker with this theory. But take a second and actually look at your life. I'm sure there's something in there you're doing that as a substitute. I'm not saying it's bad!
If you're good at your job.. great! that's wonderful! keep it up. We need you to keep the world spinning for us. Always be there for your friends. I could be one of them. Letting loose and partying is a necessity in life. PARTY ON!! Family is key, never turn your back on them. if you've pointed your energies towards god.. awesome, help me get on the righteous path with you, we'll chill in heaven together. If you're going for dating.. umm... always be SAFE.
All i wanna say with this theory, is that don't get SO comfy with your substitute. keep looking for your adam or eve. You wouldn't want your adam/eve to be so caught up and comfy with their substitutes that they gave up on finding you.. would you?
and seriously.. dont' ever mistake your substitute for the real thing. on a sad note... i'm sorry to say that this need might never be satisfied.. cause how will we ever know the real deal when it comes along?
just feel reassured that we all have this Need. and don't be so quick to judge people that are weakened because of it. remember that we're all in the same boat.
I'd also like to say.. that when speaking to your friends from now on... you should see them as your fellow junkies.
it is kinda like a drug.
we're all just junkies for the Need
i'm on a vacation of a different sort..
got to see new places.. and meet a whole bunch of new people.. got me thinking a lot.. of what we all have in common.. what's something that ties us..
maybe as usual it's the romantic in me talking.. but since i recently made a decision to put my heart on a shelf for a while, i hope this theory is wrong.
Theory of Substitutes (and the ultimate Need)
Someone once told me.. that the reason people date so much when they're young.. is not because they're actually in love, it's because they have a need inside them to "love"... and he just decided instead of pointing that need towards girls and ending up breaking up with them.. he'd just target it towards god... and use up all that energy there. that's his choice.
i believe that as much as we're selfish, i think god created us equally selfless... we are born with the desire and energy inside us to love and be loved. and lack of that drives us insane.
what is it that ties us all together? what is it that we all want even though not everyone can admit. i don't actually have a word for it. it's not just "love".. it's also the sense of acceptance by someone, affection.. understanding.. belonging. passion, approval. you know.. maybe even just that sense of touch.
if all those words and feelings could be jumbled up into the word "love" then ok, but i think it's more than that.. for the sake of argument.. i'll call it "the Need"
Adam and Eve were in heaven. It was just them.. in paradise.. they had no jobs, no pets, no friends, no family... just each other.. and that was it. and they were in paradise.
we are obviously now not in paradise, could i say that maybe since so many people have given up looking for their adams and eves, that they satisfay their Need with substitutes?
now to make this clearer.. the next situations i describe, try to imagine each situation... and fit it into an adequate partner for a person that would make their ideal mate. then you'll see what i see.
People lead a variety of lives.. but i think if we look close enough, everyone does or has something in their life that gives them a steady supply to the Need. and the ones that don't have it, are generally despressed and unhappy.
how do people get the Need? a lot of different ways.. cause there's a lot of different types. there are those who love their jobs.. and have such passion for it. meaning they wake up and can't WAIT to get to work. it's something they're good in.. something they might feel they connect to other people with, or something they might just feel more superior to others when performing..
There are others that love to share feelings with friends.. and their circle of friends are their whole lives.. connecting with them, sharing good times and bad times.. being there for each other, reaching out and helping them. Some people have pets.. so that they can have unconditional love.. and are able to dote on them and talk to them (mind you without having
them talk back) Other people party.. whatever kind of chemical or alcohol they take is to make them happy.. give them that warm fuzzy feeling you get when you're on cloud nine.
Some people concentrate on family. Mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters who make sure that whatever role they play in that family, they're proud of it and make it the essential part of their life.. family loyalty, pride and love. the sense of taking care of each other no matter what, and having nothing seperate you from one another no matter the consequences. Belonging. Others date.. wanting the touch of another person. the promises that comes with kisses and hugs, and the euphoria of someone's skin on the other.
these example may mix and match.. I'm sure there are more examples out there but i won't talk about them all.
All i'm trying to say here.. is that has all our lives really just become a series of substitutes? How many times have you heard people compare something in their daily lives to sex, a relationship, or a partner? "you nag like a wife" "it's like being married" "dude that was orgasmic"
this Need inside of us is so strong. I know tons of people who don't believe in love, and are probably thinking i'm off my rocker with this theory. But take a second and actually look at your life. I'm sure there's something in there you're doing that as a substitute. I'm not saying it's bad!
If you're good at your job.. great! that's wonderful! keep it up. We need you to keep the world spinning for us. Always be there for your friends. I could be one of them. Letting loose and partying is a necessity in life. PARTY ON!! Family is key, never turn your back on them. if you've pointed your energies towards god.. awesome, help me get on the righteous path with you, we'll chill in heaven together. If you're going for dating.. umm... always be SAFE.
All i wanna say with this theory, is that don't get SO comfy with your substitute. keep looking for your adam or eve. You wouldn't want your adam/eve to be so caught up and comfy with their substitutes that they gave up on finding you.. would you?
and seriously.. dont' ever mistake your substitute for the real thing. on a sad note... i'm sorry to say that this need might never be satisfied.. cause how will we ever know the real deal when it comes along?
just feel reassured that we all have this Need. and don't be so quick to judge people that are weakened because of it. remember that we're all in the same boat.
I'd also like to say.. that when speaking to your friends from now on... you should see them as your fellow junkies.
it is kinda like a drug.
we're all just junkies for the Need
Saturday, July 1, 2006
Theory #8 - Theory of the Heart
They say it's Aristotle's fault that valentines is covered with pictures of hearts. From what i understand it was him who pushed the idea that the heart is the center of the human's body. and it's the one that controls our emotions.
Most people would argue that it's the brain that's the central station for anything cognitive, like thinking, and emotions and all that. I had a discussion with my psychology teacher in college once over this very subject.
I KINDA have to agree with Aristotle on this one.
Theory of the Heart
Your brain is essential to you, all your memories are there, all your thoughts are there, maybe it's an exaggeration, but when you think too hard, it's your head that hurts right?
Biologically we know that anything that happens to us physically gets sent through our nerves up to our brain to tell us what's what. Call me a romantic, but i still think it's our heart that's doing the living for us.
I still say when i love someone i love with my heart, and not just cause it's the popular saying, because it IS my essence, and it's my heart and not my brain that knows someone and feels their presence.
First of all from the little research i've done, it's said that the heart is the part that is formed FIRST in embryological development. secondly, it's the heart that decides whether we're alive or dead. you could be brain dead but still be alive, true not MUCH of a life, but think of it the other way round, you can't be in cardiac arrest but still be "technically" alive.
it's your heart that starts beating faster when you have emotions. People who will disregard this theory are the ones are claim to be "thinkers" and not "feelers"
truth is.. i think we're all a bit of both.
Why is it your heart that pounds so hard when you're happy... and why is it your heart that feels like it's about to be ripped outta your body when you're sad?
i dunno about you guys but my HEART hurts when i'm sad, i feel like it has a life of it's own that i can't control... even if it's
psychological why can't i believe that my heart does my thinking? and just cause it's my heart doing the thinking, why does that make a person "emotional" and therefore "irrational"? if it's your heart that's doing your thinking and living for you and
keeping you alive from one beat to the next, why is it irrational to follow it and stay alive?
Why can't it be my heart that's carrying all the love? and all the memories and thoughts?
If you think about anything in your body, everything happens for a reason, actions, reflexes.. all that... what about the heart beat? what STARTS a heart beat when we're babies?
what slows it down and stops it when we're dead. i wanna say love.. and i'm not talking about loving your mate.. i'm talking about all kinds of love... a mother's love, family love, siblings, friends, children, and yes.. lovers. i don't think it's an exaggeration to say that you could die of lonileness or pain... thsoe arent' the ONLY ways of dying... but i'm just saying it could happen... when there's nothing to love.. what WILLS the heart to keep beating if we're not even sure what makes it
beat in the first place?
we all have souls..
it makes sense to believe that our soul lives in four chambers of the heart, not in our brains... and there's nothing irrational about me saying that.
Yafi, you'll be missed.
Most people would argue that it's the brain that's the central station for anything cognitive, like thinking, and emotions and all that. I had a discussion with my psychology teacher in college once over this very subject.
I KINDA have to agree with Aristotle on this one.
Theory of the Heart
Your brain is essential to you, all your memories are there, all your thoughts are there, maybe it's an exaggeration, but when you think too hard, it's your head that hurts right?
Biologically we know that anything that happens to us physically gets sent through our nerves up to our brain to tell us what's what. Call me a romantic, but i still think it's our heart that's doing the living for us.
I still say when i love someone i love with my heart, and not just cause it's the popular saying, because it IS my essence, and it's my heart and not my brain that knows someone and feels their presence.
First of all from the little research i've done, it's said that the heart is the part that is formed FIRST in embryological development. secondly, it's the heart that decides whether we're alive or dead. you could be brain dead but still be alive, true not MUCH of a life, but think of it the other way round, you can't be in cardiac arrest but still be "technically" alive.
it's your heart that starts beating faster when you have emotions. People who will disregard this theory are the ones are claim to be "thinkers" and not "feelers"
truth is.. i think we're all a bit of both.
Why is it your heart that pounds so hard when you're happy... and why is it your heart that feels like it's about to be ripped outta your body when you're sad?
i dunno about you guys but my HEART hurts when i'm sad, i feel like it has a life of it's own that i can't control... even if it's
psychological why can't i believe that my heart does my thinking? and just cause it's my heart doing the thinking, why does that make a person "emotional" and therefore "irrational"? if it's your heart that's doing your thinking and living for you and
keeping you alive from one beat to the next, why is it irrational to follow it and stay alive?
Why can't it be my heart that's carrying all the love? and all the memories and thoughts?
If you think about anything in your body, everything happens for a reason, actions, reflexes.. all that... what about the heart beat? what STARTS a heart beat when we're babies?
what slows it down and stops it when we're dead. i wanna say love.. and i'm not talking about loving your mate.. i'm talking about all kinds of love... a mother's love, family love, siblings, friends, children, and yes.. lovers. i don't think it's an exaggeration to say that you could die of lonileness or pain... thsoe arent' the ONLY ways of dying... but i'm just saying it could happen... when there's nothing to love.. what WILLS the heart to keep beating if we're not even sure what makes it
beat in the first place?
we all have souls..
it makes sense to believe that our soul lives in four chambers of the heart, not in our brains... and there's nothing irrational about me saying that.
Yafi, you'll be missed.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Theory #7 - Theory of Adaptation/Evolution
With the world cup coming up and all.. i've started to NOTICE a few things.. i'm trying to be smart here and use scientific ideas, so if i happen to botch them and have the wrong idea.. please be gentle with me!! i'm a mere highschool teacher. lol.. i'm sure you'll get the idea anyways.
but i would very much appreciated your replies on this one to help me with my facts.
Theory of Adaptation/Evolution
I wanted to use the word evolve, but i believe the correct word is adaptation. i'm not sure...
There has always been a certain way that you see men. they are strong, brute, kings, and lords. women are fair maidens, shy, and sweet.
this ofcourse is the old way of thinking.. If we look around now we see that this isn't always true. but why?
One idea, could be that maybe in past, men grew tired of women not being able to understand the way they think, or wished that they shared a similar interest. not just be something pretty on their arm and entertainment in bed. Women might have had a similar experience. They might have grown tired of men just being used to lift heavy things and protection.
Some people maybe did not grow tired of this.. and enjoy the old type of man/woman.
but i would like to say that MOST people have changed what they want out of their partner. They might include some of the characteristics listed above as things they WANT, but the list has grown longer now. I also believe that the reason the list of demands have grown, is because maybe in the old days the ability to have a CHOICE in who we wanted to marry was not as common as recent times. So, people didnt' even have the option to be picky.... (arranged marraiges) I think that we as human have recognized that change in demand. We know that our genes affect our personality and characteristics. Is it possible that maybe some of our likes and dislikes is due to a gene we get from our mother/father ?
Girls recently have been going crazy over soccer, following all the games, the scores, and all that. Didn't soccer used to be a BOY'S game? Is it possible, that maybe girls have over time realized the need for men to bond with women on hobbies and likes, so the women have adapted to this change? Growing to like things that used to be mostly of mens' interest. Cars, cards, computers, soccer and other sports, etc.... It's survival of the fittest, isn't it? and dating is a jungle. so the species that survive, are the ones that have learnt to find a mate, and was able to reproduce. if the demand of the mate has changed over time, then it is the women who can accomodate for those changes that will continue.
She in turn, passes along those genes to her daughter. and men, to their sons. I'm not saying that girls who like boy stuff are doing it JUST to get a man. I'm saying that maybe that's how it all started.
Here's my crazy backup (i completely admit that i did not research this part and i am talking outta my ass for the CHANCE that it might be true)
why are most people along the equator darker than people in other areas? If we all originated from the same mother and father, how come we come in different colors and shapes?
people with dark skin, does every single person born get a tan after birth? or was it developed over time until it was something just found in the genes?
why can't this be the same thing?
the women that were able to snag a man with his new demands, were the ones that reproduced. and over time and again and again, it just became something natural to today's girls.
dont' get me wrong!! same goes for men!
more and more we are seeing Metrosexuals. Guys who have gay characteristics, but are straight. Women are looking for men who are "sensitive" and "vulnerable" and listen to their problems. these are the new needs of the women. so the men that end up surviving, and reproducing, are the ones that can accomodate for the majority need right now.
I'm not saying all women and men want what i have describes above. Some men still wants just an ornament on their arm and entertainment in bed. Some women still just want a brute that will take care of things, and protect her.
other people still want those things, but just have added more requirements along with it. this seems to be the growing trend at the moment.
lol.. are you the dying breed?? If you are please adapt soon, i'd like our grandkids to play together.
(i have a small theory, that we MIGHT be moving into a regression, that the trend has begun slowly to move backwards, with men wanting more femine girls, and girls want not-so-sensitive guys. But i think we need another decade or two to see if that's true)
but i would very much appreciated your replies on this one to help me with my facts.
Theory of Adaptation/Evolution
I wanted to use the word evolve, but i believe the correct word is adaptation. i'm not sure...
There has always been a certain way that you see men. they are strong, brute, kings, and lords. women are fair maidens, shy, and sweet.
this ofcourse is the old way of thinking.. If we look around now we see that this isn't always true. but why?
One idea, could be that maybe in past, men grew tired of women not being able to understand the way they think, or wished that they shared a similar interest. not just be something pretty on their arm and entertainment in bed. Women might have had a similar experience. They might have grown tired of men just being used to lift heavy things and protection.
Some people maybe did not grow tired of this.. and enjoy the old type of man/woman.
but i would like to say that MOST people have changed what they want out of their partner. They might include some of the characteristics listed above as things they WANT, but the list has grown longer now. I also believe that the reason the list of demands have grown, is because maybe in the old days the ability to have a CHOICE in who we wanted to marry was not as common as recent times. So, people didnt' even have the option to be picky.... (arranged marraiges) I think that we as human have recognized that change in demand. We know that our genes affect our personality and characteristics. Is it possible that maybe some of our likes and dislikes is due to a gene we get from our mother/father ?
Girls recently have been going crazy over soccer, following all the games, the scores, and all that. Didn't soccer used to be a BOY'S game? Is it possible, that maybe girls have over time realized the need for men to bond with women on hobbies and likes, so the women have adapted to this change? Growing to like things that used to be mostly of mens' interest. Cars, cards, computers, soccer and other sports, etc.... It's survival of the fittest, isn't it? and dating is a jungle. so the species that survive, are the ones that have learnt to find a mate, and was able to reproduce. if the demand of the mate has changed over time, then it is the women who can accomodate for those changes that will continue.
She in turn, passes along those genes to her daughter. and men, to their sons. I'm not saying that girls who like boy stuff are doing it JUST to get a man. I'm saying that maybe that's how it all started.
Here's my crazy backup (i completely admit that i did not research this part and i am talking outta my ass for the CHANCE that it might be true)
why are most people along the equator darker than people in other areas? If we all originated from the same mother and father, how come we come in different colors and shapes?
people with dark skin, does every single person born get a tan after birth? or was it developed over time until it was something just found in the genes?
why can't this be the same thing?
the women that were able to snag a man with his new demands, were the ones that reproduced. and over time and again and again, it just became something natural to today's girls.
dont' get me wrong!! same goes for men!
more and more we are seeing Metrosexuals. Guys who have gay characteristics, but are straight. Women are looking for men who are "sensitive" and "vulnerable" and listen to their problems. these are the new needs of the women. so the men that end up surviving, and reproducing, are the ones that can accomodate for the majority need right now.
I'm not saying all women and men want what i have describes above. Some men still wants just an ornament on their arm and entertainment in bed. Some women still just want a brute that will take care of things, and protect her.
other people still want those things, but just have added more requirements along with it. this seems to be the growing trend at the moment.
lol.. are you the dying breed?? If you are please adapt soon, i'd like our grandkids to play together.
(i have a small theory, that we MIGHT be moving into a regression, that the trend has begun slowly to move backwards, with men wanting more femine girls, and girls want not-so-sensitive guys. But i think we need another decade or two to see if that's true)
Monday, May 8, 2006
Theory #6 - Theory of Multilingual-ness
This theory is about the ability to speak more than one language. I'M calling it "multilingual-ness"... I realize it's not a real word. but i'd rather use it than use proper english :D Is there any advantage to speaking more than one language other than being able to communicate different people?
i think so :)
Theory of Multilingual-ness
Granted i believe in the back of my head i can come up with a couple of reasons why it's better to speak more than one language, maybe i'll talk about them later, but right now.. this is the first thing that comes to mind.
people who speak more than one language are more likely to be better kissers. (I SAID "MORE LIKELY", THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT SOMEONE WHO SPEAKS ONE LANGUAGE CAN'T BE AN AMAZING KISSER)
(This also means that just cause someone speaks more than one language, he/she might STILL suck at kissing)
that's that.
learning another language sometimes requires learning entirely new letters, letters you didnt' pronounce in your own language. Even if there aren't any new letters, the old ones you knew have to be pronounced differently. like in french, you have to curve your tongue a certain way to pronounce "L", and blah blah blah.
even with different dialects of the same language, not necessarily different languages, you're required to move your mouth and tongue in different ways.
the first thing people might argue with me is that when you kiss someone, your mouth isnt' moving in the same way it is when you're talking. ok, sometimes that's true.. but the idea behind my theory is that your tongue is CAPABLE of more.
think of it like if someone's having sex, how it's better if their body is REALLY flexible.
that's kiiiinda what i'm shooting at.
people always say that the better you dance the better you are in bed, and that certain cultures just DONT' know how to move their bodies, while others do...
so with languages it's kinda the same. Your tongue is getting exercise, learning to bend in ways it couldn't before. you're
becoming a linguist, which means you're mastering something with your tongue and lips. why can't that contribute to your kissing skills?
if you spoke the same bland letters all the time, your tongue MIGHT only know how to do those movements over and over. the more languages you learn, the more control you have over your tongue and lips and what to do with them.
i realize this theory is a bit far-fetched.
it's what i think anyways.
hhmm..... i should really start those spanish classes i wanted 0:)
i think so :)
Theory of Multilingual-ness
Granted i believe in the back of my head i can come up with a couple of reasons why it's better to speak more than one language, maybe i'll talk about them later, but right now.. this is the first thing that comes to mind.
people who speak more than one language are more likely to be better kissers. (I SAID "MORE LIKELY", THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT SOMEONE WHO SPEAKS ONE LANGUAGE CAN'T BE AN AMAZING KISSER)
(This also means that just cause someone speaks more than one language, he/she might STILL suck at kissing)
that's that.
learning another language sometimes requires learning entirely new letters, letters you didnt' pronounce in your own language. Even if there aren't any new letters, the old ones you knew have to be pronounced differently. like in french, you have to curve your tongue a certain way to pronounce "L", and blah blah blah.
even with different dialects of the same language, not necessarily different languages, you're required to move your mouth and tongue in different ways.
the first thing people might argue with me is that when you kiss someone, your mouth isnt' moving in the same way it is when you're talking. ok, sometimes that's true.. but the idea behind my theory is that your tongue is CAPABLE of more.
think of it like if someone's having sex, how it's better if their body is REALLY flexible.
that's kiiiinda what i'm shooting at.
people always say that the better you dance the better you are in bed, and that certain cultures just DONT' know how to move their bodies, while others do...
so with languages it's kinda the same. Your tongue is getting exercise, learning to bend in ways it couldn't before. you're
becoming a linguist, which means you're mastering something with your tongue and lips. why can't that contribute to your kissing skills?
if you spoke the same bland letters all the time, your tongue MIGHT only know how to do those movements over and over. the more languages you learn, the more control you have over your tongue and lips and what to do with them.
i realize this theory is a bit far-fetched.
it's what i think anyways.
hhmm..... i should really start those spanish classes i wanted 0:)
Monday, April 17, 2006
Theory #5 - Theory of Goodbyes
ok... i'm a bit down today.
So this theory is very sentimental.. and yes, corny..
if you're just in the mood to laugh at me, then don't bother reading it.
Theory of Goodbyes
Why are goodbyes so sad? i mean, technically it's just someone being at a distance from someone else.
I don't think you could possibly understand this unless you're the kind of person who travels a lot back and forth to see loved ones, family friends and so forth.
ok.. here's what i wanna talk about. the act of crying, when you're leaving, or someone's leaving. why do we do it?
yeah ok, cause it's sad.. i get it.. but it's not like we didn't KNOW we were gonna say goodbye. why didn't you cry earlier? why did the crying happen during that last moment, when you're saying goodbye? why do you suddenly get choked up and can't even say the words?
i like to think that when you're with someone in a country, your souls say hello to each other. kinda make a bond. hell, even if you're on the phone together or talking face to face, i like to think your souls are locked with each other exchanging info and stuff and feelings. what i imagine happening, is when you say goodbye, your souls are being yanked from each other. sounds corny i know.. but that's what i see in my head. and tears are just the product of that.
kinda like, when you cut something, you're technically just opening someone's skin and flesh, the result that comes out of it is blood. this is the same, your souls are being pulled harshly away from each other, and if you love each other, they're holding on tighter.. and when that's YANKED out, tears are the by product.
some people may argue that even though they love someone, that they don't cry when they say goodbye
ok, good for you. Everyone's different. Some people bleed more, some people bleed less. whatever. if you can control your emotions well enough, you might have the urge inside you to cry, but you don't actually cry.
also, especially with first goodbyes, our souls are like babies. When babies are young, they start screaming like crazy when you leave the room, cause they actually think that if they can't see you, that you're gone forever.
only later do they start understanding that just cause you can't see them, doesn't mean they're gone (that's why you should play pee-ka-boo with kids)
i think souls turn into babies when it comes to goodbyes.. the tears are there cause they think they'll never see each other again. but the more often you say bye over time, it gets used to it. and you understand more and more the fact that you WILL see the people you care about again.
some people get used to it more than others.
i hate goodbyes.
So this theory is very sentimental.. and yes, corny..
if you're just in the mood to laugh at me, then don't bother reading it.
Theory of Goodbyes
Why are goodbyes so sad? i mean, technically it's just someone being at a distance from someone else.
I don't think you could possibly understand this unless you're the kind of person who travels a lot back and forth to see loved ones, family friends and so forth.
ok.. here's what i wanna talk about. the act of crying, when you're leaving, or someone's leaving. why do we do it?
yeah ok, cause it's sad.. i get it.. but it's not like we didn't KNOW we were gonna say goodbye. why didn't you cry earlier? why did the crying happen during that last moment, when you're saying goodbye? why do you suddenly get choked up and can't even say the words?
i like to think that when you're with someone in a country, your souls say hello to each other. kinda make a bond. hell, even if you're on the phone together or talking face to face, i like to think your souls are locked with each other exchanging info and stuff and feelings. what i imagine happening, is when you say goodbye, your souls are being yanked from each other. sounds corny i know.. but that's what i see in my head. and tears are just the product of that.
kinda like, when you cut something, you're technically just opening someone's skin and flesh, the result that comes out of it is blood. this is the same, your souls are being pulled harshly away from each other, and if you love each other, they're holding on tighter.. and when that's YANKED out, tears are the by product.
some people may argue that even though they love someone, that they don't cry when they say goodbye
ok, good for you. Everyone's different. Some people bleed more, some people bleed less. whatever. if you can control your emotions well enough, you might have the urge inside you to cry, but you don't actually cry.
also, especially with first goodbyes, our souls are like babies. When babies are young, they start screaming like crazy when you leave the room, cause they actually think that if they can't see you, that you're gone forever.
only later do they start understanding that just cause you can't see them, doesn't mean they're gone (that's why you should play pee-ka-boo with kids)
i think souls turn into babies when it comes to goodbyes.. the tears are there cause they think they'll never see each other again. but the more often you say bye over time, it gets used to it. and you understand more and more the fact that you WILL see the people you care about again.
some people get used to it more than others.
i hate goodbyes.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Theory #4 - Theory of Understanding the Sexes
ok... this is TOTALLY not a new idea that i'm about to talk about. John Gray wrote his book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" i haven't actually read his book but i got the jist of it.. even flipped through it.
the only reason i mention him is so that no one thinks i came up with this idea all on my own.. i'm just using my own words and tweaking it a bit. but his main idea was that even though men and women use the same words and do the same things.. they mean COMPLETELY different things depending on which sex says or does it.
Theory of Understanding the Sexes
I think it should be understood that we are two completely different species. no if's about it. YES there are some exceptions.. and YES i cannot talk about every single person in this world. but i am talking about the majority here.. i'm sorry.. we can't fight it. we are the result of generations and generations of people who have built our society and our manners and we are the victims of that. so take what i have to say with an open mind. Each view point i give will be given in a language that each sex can understand. so when i use words like bitch or asshole.. it's subject to which sex-language i'm using.. ok? cause each word might mean something else in a different language (the sex's languages, yes.. male and female have different languages)
Understanding the opposite sex:
To the men (written in male-language):
Guys... here is the answer to everything you wanna know. Women are crazy.
Plain and simple. they are emotional, they lackreason in the actions they take.. i'm not bullshitting you. women are CRAZY.. we are all psycho. if you have a girl who blows things outta porportion, in her mind it will seem COMPLETELY logical.. so don't try to argue with her on that point.
if you really wanna know how to deal with women you have to understand that and not argue with their logic. accept it and work around it. i repeat.. do not try to UNDERSTAND why she does certain things or acts a certain way..
cause it will not make sense to you.. if it seems too crazy to be true.. i'm sorrry to say IT IS TRUE... dont' waste time thinking "she can't POSSIBLY be angry about THAT" cause whatever it is.. she is. I'm sorry ladies.. but we are.. Jack Nicholson said it best in his movie when the girl asked him "How do you write women so well?" and he said "I think of a man, and i take away reason and accountability"
To the women(written in female-language):
Ladies... men are asses
that's it. it's the same as with the men trying to understand women..
DON'T try to understand the man. men are emotional like us.. but men don't talk about it. that's just the way they are. if he seems cold and distant.. he IS that cold and distant. if you sit and think.. "nooo.. he can't be THAT mean".. oh no.. he IS.. don't question it. he just doesn't realize it cause our definition of "mean" is different than his.
It's just the way they are. if you wonder why he doesn't react to things like you, it's because they're programmed differently.Different things are seen as important to men, so their priorities are COMPLETELY different. deal with it. don't try to change the man... try to accept that this is what you're gonna get. Men have grown up with the idea that they can't be
emotional, that they have to be calm and collected all the time. so when he acts indifferent to you, don't take it personally, it's a biological thing.
he is NOT like you... if you think he thinks the same way as you but is just hiding it.. NOOO.. he is not. he is built differently. They know exactly what you want outta them.. and could conform to the way you think, but they won't.. simply because.. they are men.
*PLEASE NOTE THIS THEORY TALKS ABOUT THE MAJORITY OF THE SEXES.. BUT NOT ALL MALES AND FEMALES.. JUST, MAJORITY*
the only reason i mention him is so that no one thinks i came up with this idea all on my own.. i'm just using my own words and tweaking it a bit. but his main idea was that even though men and women use the same words and do the same things.. they mean COMPLETELY different things depending on which sex says or does it.
Theory of Understanding the Sexes
I think it should be understood that we are two completely different species. no if's about it. YES there are some exceptions.. and YES i cannot talk about every single person in this world. but i am talking about the majority here.. i'm sorry.. we can't fight it. we are the result of generations and generations of people who have built our society and our manners and we are the victims of that. so take what i have to say with an open mind. Each view point i give will be given in a language that each sex can understand. so when i use words like bitch or asshole.. it's subject to which sex-language i'm using.. ok? cause each word might mean something else in a different language (the sex's languages, yes.. male and female have different languages)
Understanding the opposite sex:
To the men (written in male-language):
Guys... here is the answer to everything you wanna know. Women are crazy.
Plain and simple. they are emotional, they lackreason in the actions they take.. i'm not bullshitting you. women are CRAZY.. we are all psycho. if you have a girl who blows things outta porportion, in her mind it will seem COMPLETELY logical.. so don't try to argue with her on that point.
if you really wanna know how to deal with women you have to understand that and not argue with their logic. accept it and work around it. i repeat.. do not try to UNDERSTAND why she does certain things or acts a certain way..
cause it will not make sense to you.. if it seems too crazy to be true.. i'm sorrry to say IT IS TRUE... dont' waste time thinking "she can't POSSIBLY be angry about THAT" cause whatever it is.. she is. I'm sorry ladies.. but we are.. Jack Nicholson said it best in his movie when the girl asked him "How do you write women so well?" and he said "I think of a man, and i take away reason and accountability"
To the women(written in female-language):
Ladies... men are asses
that's it. it's the same as with the men trying to understand women..
DON'T try to understand the man. men are emotional like us.. but men don't talk about it. that's just the way they are. if he seems cold and distant.. he IS that cold and distant. if you sit and think.. "nooo.. he can't be THAT mean".. oh no.. he IS.. don't question it. he just doesn't realize it cause our definition of "mean" is different than his.
It's just the way they are. if you wonder why he doesn't react to things like you, it's because they're programmed differently.Different things are seen as important to men, so their priorities are COMPLETELY different. deal with it. don't try to change the man... try to accept that this is what you're gonna get. Men have grown up with the idea that they can't be
emotional, that they have to be calm and collected all the time. so when he acts indifferent to you, don't take it personally, it's a biological thing.
he is NOT like you... if you think he thinks the same way as you but is just hiding it.. NOOO.. he is not. he is built differently. They know exactly what you want outta them.. and could conform to the way you think, but they won't.. simply because.. they are men.
*PLEASE NOTE THIS THEORY TALKS ABOUT THE MAJORITY OF THE SEXES.. BUT NOT ALL MALES AND FEMALES.. JUST, MAJORITY*
Friday, March 3, 2006
Theory #3 - Theory of Instincts
this one isn't exactly gonna be uplifting...
sigh.. i know i'm gonna get a lot of people disagreeing with me on this one and arguing with me
so let me save you the effort.. this is MY opinion.. i'm just trying to help you, i'm not forcing this idea on you.
Theory of Instincts
In relationships, friends or boy/girl friends.. you always have to use your instincts. we live in world where there are so many liars out there.. fake people, frauds.. it's literally a jungle. fortunately god gave us our instincts, but unfortunately no one uses them enough.
If you feel you're being jerked around by someone, that someone's messing with you. they probably are. don't second guess yourself, you are.. and don't question the queasiness in your stomach or the weight on your chest. I'm not saying that the second you feel someone's lying or playing you that you act on it... instincts have been known to fuck up.. but in the course of the relationship, if the feeling continues, you're being taken for a schmuck. and that's a safe bet.
I'm not being harsh, truth is.. when someone's being honest with you, you never doubt them.. it's so clear and transparent in their actions and intentions. if someone is a jerk.. but is honest about it.. you can TELL.. which actually, some people like me don't mind.
the problem comes with friends, who start playing with you, who keep their true intentions hidden... and we keep giving them the benefit of the doubt, truth is.. we're idiots.
if your'e in a situation that everyone says that someone is playing you, but you don't feel it.. you don't have that queasiness.. have faith in your instincts. i'm not saying be blind, maybe investigate it further.. dont' just give up believing in that person.
but also, vice versa, girls, if you feel a guy is playing you, trying to manipulate you somehow.. he probably is. dont' listen to his iron clad excuses.. that's child's play to them. and boys, if a girl is driving you nuts, and you just can't figure her out and she's getting you confused, she's probably doing it on purpose. and wrapping you around her finger is easy for her.
there IS the rare occasion that it's just a misunderstanding.. if that's the case, then you can easily confront each other and
everything will easily be cleared up......but otherwise.. if you confront each other, and you're still left confused.. or being uneasy.. or just unconvinced.. then your'e being taken for a schmuck if your instincts are wrong, dont' worry.. nothing is forever.. if that friend or boy/girl friend really cares about you.. they'll fight to hang on to you. and that would be enough to remove your uneasiness...
honesty is so amazing.. is so clear.. crystal, i'm not exaggerating! when you hear it from someone.. you'll never doubt it. i know some people say that things could cloud your judgement.. but instinct is not in your brain. it's in your gut.. and THAT can't be clouded. (please dont' reply to me saying .. "your brain controls your gut.. blah blah blah"... stick with my metaphor)
it's a natural tendency to defend ourselves.. ... your body knows best.
i say.. follow your instincts... dont' be fools
sigh.. i know i'm gonna get a lot of people disagreeing with me on this one and arguing with me
so let me save you the effort.. this is MY opinion.. i'm just trying to help you, i'm not forcing this idea on you.
Theory of Instincts
In relationships, friends or boy/girl friends.. you always have to use your instincts. we live in world where there are so many liars out there.. fake people, frauds.. it's literally a jungle. fortunately god gave us our instincts, but unfortunately no one uses them enough.
If you feel you're being jerked around by someone, that someone's messing with you. they probably are. don't second guess yourself, you are.. and don't question the queasiness in your stomach or the weight on your chest. I'm not saying that the second you feel someone's lying or playing you that you act on it... instincts have been known to fuck up.. but in the course of the relationship, if the feeling continues, you're being taken for a schmuck. and that's a safe bet.
I'm not being harsh, truth is.. when someone's being honest with you, you never doubt them.. it's so clear and transparent in their actions and intentions. if someone is a jerk.. but is honest about it.. you can TELL.. which actually, some people like me don't mind.
the problem comes with friends, who start playing with you, who keep their true intentions hidden... and we keep giving them the benefit of the doubt, truth is.. we're idiots.
if your'e in a situation that everyone says that someone is playing you, but you don't feel it.. you don't have that queasiness.. have faith in your instincts. i'm not saying be blind, maybe investigate it further.. dont' just give up believing in that person.
but also, vice versa, girls, if you feel a guy is playing you, trying to manipulate you somehow.. he probably is. dont' listen to his iron clad excuses.. that's child's play to them. and boys, if a girl is driving you nuts, and you just can't figure her out and she's getting you confused, she's probably doing it on purpose. and wrapping you around her finger is easy for her.
there IS the rare occasion that it's just a misunderstanding.. if that's the case, then you can easily confront each other and
everything will easily be cleared up......but otherwise.. if you confront each other, and you're still left confused.. or being uneasy.. or just unconvinced.. then your'e being taken for a schmuck if your instincts are wrong, dont' worry.. nothing is forever.. if that friend or boy/girl friend really cares about you.. they'll fight to hang on to you. and that would be enough to remove your uneasiness...
honesty is so amazing.. is so clear.. crystal, i'm not exaggerating! when you hear it from someone.. you'll never doubt it. i know some people say that things could cloud your judgement.. but instinct is not in your brain. it's in your gut.. and THAT can't be clouded. (please dont' reply to me saying .. "your brain controls your gut.. blah blah blah"... stick with my metaphor)
it's a natural tendency to defend ourselves.. ... your body knows best.
i say.. follow your instincts... dont' be fools
Monday, February 13, 2006
Theory #2 - Theory of the Secret to Beauty
All of you who know me know that i would never ever ever describe myself as beautiful, or even pretty. i'd say... "ok".. just not ugly. so how did i come upon this new theory of the secret to beauty? easy.. i looked at old photos of myself and realized that in those photos i was BEAUTIFUL. how could that be? that's not even possible! i look at recent photos and i still feel disgusted.. but some of the older ones are just.. WOW...
It's true.. i did not even recognize myself in my own pictures.. said it couldn't possibly be me. so here comes my theory.
Theory of the Secret to Beauty
Simply put... be happy and you'll be beautiful. this theory applies to girls and guys. i know it might not be as obvious with guys (frankly i don't even know if you guys would be comfortable with the word beautiful).. but it still applies.
You can't trick a pretty face. superficially, fine.. whatever... but no amount of hair gel, or certain haircut, or make up can compete with the beauty that comes out of true happiness. Please dont' misunderstand me, i'm not saying that you can't even look attractive unless you're happy. i'm just saying, that those people you see their pictures, or see them at a party or in a restaurant.. the ones that for some reason are GLOWING, are getting your attention.. those people are happy in the inside.
you might not even be able to tell about yourself if you look good or not, but looking on past photos might help give you a hint. look at times where you were really happy... not "denial" happy (for the people who were drunk in photos).. i'm talking soberly happy in that point in their lives. i bet you the pictures look great. i bet the smile shines and you look fabulous.
why? simple.
why do people some day look good and some days not? i've had mood swings were i'd dress like a diva and look good, and others where i look like a hobo. it's all about the mood i'm in.
I know people think that when they look at pictures of themselves "younger" they're bound to be better looking... but isn't it possible that the reason they looked better when they were younger is cause they had less problems and stress in their lives?
and to prove the make up is not the answer, i once wore NO makeup.. and yet almost everyone who met me smiled and complimented that i looked pretty that day. because THAT day, i was happy. a smile goes a long way guys.. and faking one doesn't count. i already talked about transperancy, and almost everyone can't fake a geniune smile... eyes don't lie. maybe appearing "beautiful" is not a concern of yours.. but just incase... find out what's making you unhappy in your lives.. and fix
it. you can't lie to your body.
stress and unhappiness makes your hair fall out, gives you pimples, rashes... so many things your body does to let you know "helloo!!!! something's wrong!! fix it!" so why is it a suprise to know that when you're actually happy, your body is healthy too?
if you're looking in the mirror right now, and you don't like what you see... if your face looks dead and your smile just isnt' real... fix it guys.
you're the only ones who can.. and THAT'S my theory to the secret of beauty :D
It's true.. i did not even recognize myself in my own pictures.. said it couldn't possibly be me. so here comes my theory.
Theory of the Secret to Beauty
Simply put... be happy and you'll be beautiful. this theory applies to girls and guys. i know it might not be as obvious with guys (frankly i don't even know if you guys would be comfortable with the word beautiful).. but it still applies.
You can't trick a pretty face. superficially, fine.. whatever... but no amount of hair gel, or certain haircut, or make up can compete with the beauty that comes out of true happiness. Please dont' misunderstand me, i'm not saying that you can't even look attractive unless you're happy. i'm just saying, that those people you see their pictures, or see them at a party or in a restaurant.. the ones that for some reason are GLOWING, are getting your attention.. those people are happy in the inside.
you might not even be able to tell about yourself if you look good or not, but looking on past photos might help give you a hint. look at times where you were really happy... not "denial" happy (for the people who were drunk in photos).. i'm talking soberly happy in that point in their lives. i bet you the pictures look great. i bet the smile shines and you look fabulous.
why? simple.
why do people some day look good and some days not? i've had mood swings were i'd dress like a diva and look good, and others where i look like a hobo. it's all about the mood i'm in.
I know people think that when they look at pictures of themselves "younger" they're bound to be better looking... but isn't it possible that the reason they looked better when they were younger is cause they had less problems and stress in their lives?
and to prove the make up is not the answer, i once wore NO makeup.. and yet almost everyone who met me smiled and complimented that i looked pretty that day. because THAT day, i was happy. a smile goes a long way guys.. and faking one doesn't count. i already talked about transperancy, and almost everyone can't fake a geniune smile... eyes don't lie. maybe appearing "beautiful" is not a concern of yours.. but just incase... find out what's making you unhappy in your lives.. and fix
it. you can't lie to your body.
stress and unhappiness makes your hair fall out, gives you pimples, rashes... so many things your body does to let you know "helloo!!!! something's wrong!! fix it!" so why is it a suprise to know that when you're actually happy, your body is healthy too?
if you're looking in the mirror right now, and you don't like what you see... if your face looks dead and your smile just isnt' real... fix it guys.
you're the only ones who can.. and THAT'S my theory to the secret of beauty :D
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Theory #1 - Theory of Transperancy
The Theory of Transperancy
I think everyone has a level of transperancy. You are EXACTLY the way you want people to see you, and how much of you you want seen. so for all the "victims of life" out there.. that feel their misunderstood, you'll be interested to read this. If you wanted to act perfectly to keep up pretences, you could. But sometimes you want someone to know you're lying, it's weird... it's like inviting someone to discover you. Every single person in the world has the capacity to be a PERFECT liar (or actor/actress). no joke. But half the time, nobody wants to be that secretive. You can be an open book, or closed. you might not notice it, but your subconcious is doing it. There is no person out there who's "figured" you out. That's bullshit. simply put,
you let them, or you wanted them to. you probably even lied deliberately, but just transparently enough for them to figure it out. That way you grow a bond, and they feel like they "understand" you..... it's kinda like giving them an emotional cookie. they get to feel all smart and intuitive. Yes.. YOU'VE ALL DONE IT, DON'T DENY IT. On the other hand if you have a friend or boyfriend/girlfriend that just doesn't get you, dont' get frustrated with them, it's because you don't want them to get you, it might be on a subconcious level, take the time to think about it. It can't possibly be their fault that they don't get you when you've set your transparency level to Zero.
Honest. We show people what we want. It's all a matter of transparency.
Have you noticed how transparent YOU CHOOSE to be with different people?
i have.
I think everyone has a level of transperancy. You are EXACTLY the way you want people to see you, and how much of you you want seen. so for all the "victims of life" out there.. that feel their misunderstood, you'll be interested to read this. If you wanted to act perfectly to keep up pretences, you could. But sometimes you want someone to know you're lying, it's weird... it's like inviting someone to discover you. Every single person in the world has the capacity to be a PERFECT liar (or actor/actress). no joke. But half the time, nobody wants to be that secretive. You can be an open book, or closed. you might not notice it, but your subconcious is doing it. There is no person out there who's "figured" you out. That's bullshit. simply put,
you let them, or you wanted them to. you probably even lied deliberately, but just transparently enough for them to figure it out. That way you grow a bond, and they feel like they "understand" you..... it's kinda like giving them an emotional cookie. they get to feel all smart and intuitive. Yes.. YOU'VE ALL DONE IT, DON'T DENY IT. On the other hand if you have a friend or boyfriend/girlfriend that just doesn't get you, dont' get frustrated with them, it's because you don't want them to get you, it might be on a subconcious level, take the time to think about it. It can't possibly be their fault that they don't get you when you've set your transparency level to Zero.
Honest. We show people what we want. It's all a matter of transparency.
Have you noticed how transparent YOU CHOOSE to be with different people?
i have.
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